I used to tell myself I didn’t need support. I was in a place where I felt I had to be superwoman; taking care of my daughter, running my own business, doing life’s every day necessities and, finally, taking care of myself. I thought I could do it all by myself because I figured I didn’t have the time, energy or money to find the support, coach or mentor I needed to make life easier.
Boy was I mistaken! In my blindness (or stubbornness), I cost myself more time, more energy and so much more money in doing it alone than what I would have achieved by resourcing out and getting some help.
The “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality does NOT work.You know it deep down, just as I knew it for years.
Being on my own slowed me way down. I spent time doing the things I really didn’t want to do and questioned myself constantly. This almost always left me frustrated, stuck and overwhelmed.
The truth is that we women need support to enhance our life and to allow our brilliance to SHINE. Our precious energy should go into the things we love, so our brilliance is accessed as we create a healthy body, are able to spend more time with the people we love, and create our own life masterpiece.
When we fully step into our true brilliance, we are able to use our unique abilities to exponentially grow our business and have more energy to support other women who want to do the same.
When you say, “Yes!” to support in your life, your level of happiness increasessignificantly, you actually complete the things you always wanted to do, yourrelationships are much more fulfilling and you make way more money.
Trying to do it all by yourself keeps you disconnected from your authentic voice, desires and talents, not to mention, exhausted!
3 Reasons why the “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality can get you into serious trouble:
1. It keeps you from having it all
You life is not meant to be a struggle. You were born to live in purpose. When you’re doing things every single day that take away from your true purpose, you’re giving these tasks your “good” energy. You’re working hard at things that do not fall within your unique ability or enhance your skills in the area where you’re truly gifted.
When you are doing it all by yourself, it is nearly impossible to expand your life and purpose. Think about the possibilities, the growth and success that could be yours if you were able to give all of your good energy to your brilliance, your unique talents and gifts. Success and abundance would explode!
You are a very powerful woman who deserves to be supported so you can create exactly what you desire. You don’t have to keep trying to do it all by yourself.
2. Your precious energy is spent on tasks that deplete YOU
Imagine having the support in your life and no longer feeling depleted from doing the tasks that you really don’t love to do. The shackles on feeling lost disappear. You would really transform if more of your precious energy was invested in the things and areas of your life that completely fill your soul up.
When you are trying to do it all by yourself, your energy becomes depleted and often we become disconnected from what we really want.
If you keep living your life this way, you will become unhappy and dissatisfied with every area of your life. There’s a reason we’re supposed to spend time on the things our souls long for – it gives us vision into our true purpose, the thing that will leave us fulfilled and truly happy.
3. You constrict yourself from the very growth you desire
Let me guess, you’ve tried to do everything yourself and it has left you frustrated and exhausted. I know because I felt the same way. When you have support in your life, you move with ease and everything seems effortless.
Allowing support into your life allows you to expand and adds quicker pace than trying to do it all. When you are constantly trying, you are fighting against the current, rather than moving effortlessly with the flow and your whole life is a struggle.
The reality is your life and the people in your life will greatly benefit if you admit in your inability to do it all and align yourself with the support you need.Your business will grow, your personal outlook will be enhanced, and you will finally be living the life you know you deserve.
More importantly, your personal value will increase tremendously, and you’llfeel more empowered, self-confident, and a lot more like the “Superwoman” you were trying to be before you took on real support.
Do yourself a favor and seek support now. Your family, your happiness and your life depends on it.
Now, for most people, we’ll do just about anything to not feel uncomfortable. We resist, push back, avoid, and procrastinate. We become moody, we sleep too much, eat too much, drink too much . . . the list just goes on and on. But what are these actions doing to service our growth and ourselves? Absolutely nothing.
Let’s face it: change is uncomfortable. Feeling comfortable comes from knowing what to expect, maintaining a status quo and staying within our same old boundaries. In order to make a change, we have to tear down those walls, climb beyond our self-imposed barriers and allow the Big Breakdown to happen.
The Big Breakdown is the uncomfortable period where the change starts to take place. It comes through painful thoughts like, “Who the heck are you to do that?” Systems go haywire, like computers crashing and dropped conference call recordings. At times there are physical manifestations in our bodies like headaches, heartaches, and bellyaches. We feel angry, frustrated and scared so we participate in actions like avoidance when we know, deep down, that it would serve us best to be facing our fears and discomfort head on.
And you know what? All this discomfort is a good thing! Just beyond the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough where you’ll find everything you want and need to grow and succeed. Isn’t this cool? Actually, everything we need and want is right under our noses; the Big Breakdown is the Universe’s way of getting us to step back and see it. Our initial reaction to the Big Breakdown is to shut it off and run away. I’ve been there and I totally get it. However, I’ve taught myself to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, knowing that right past the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough. . . and that’s where the magic happens.
Here are some tips to bust through your own Big Breakdown to reap the benefits of your Big Breakthrough!
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Learn to master this one and your progress will skyrocket, and you’ll experience ongoing growth and success. When it comes to accepting the changes in your life, feel your fear . . . and then release it. Once you release your negative, scary thoughts, you allow new opportunities to come into your life. The longer you avoid feeling your feelings, the longer it takes to eventually release them which only delays what you’re really looking for… The Big Breakthrough.
Change is going to happen. And there’s one thing I know for sure: good things always come from change . . . even if we can’t see it right away. Learn to trust in the process. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable and get ready to fly!
- Create a “feel good” state of being.Your emotional state is a big key to what you are attracting to your life. If you want to attract more, you must release old paradigms and false beliefs about yourself. When we are confronted with change, our minds automatically think about what we’re giving up, not what we’re gaining. That mindset keeps us in a place of lack rather than moving us into a place of abundance.Create a “feel good” state of being to move into abundance and attract all that the Universe has to offer you. Instead of focusing on what you may not have right now, focus on what you want. Take a moment to visualize yourself as being enveloped in goodness and well-being. Close your eyes and breathe deeply while focusing on all that you want to attract to your life.Here’s a list to help you get started:
Imagine that you have all of these things, and more. Allow yourself to believe in and expect positive results from the change in your life. Trust that what you really seek will appear.
Are You Willing?
Ask and answer the following questions for yourself:
- Are you willing to trade short-term discomfort for long-term success?
- How badly do you want your ideal business and delicious lifestyle?
- Are you willing to find another way when presented with a road-block?
Just because your bridge telephone line disconnects during your live conference call, you completely spill paint all over a great piece of your artwork, or your important meeting gets canceled, don’t take it as a sign that you’re no good at your chosen path, that you’re not meant to do it or that you’re doomed.
When things like this happen, remind yourself of your answers to the above questions. See these minor disruptions as opportunities to improve your systems. Perhaps you would benefit from delegating tasks, asking for help or simply taking a break. It’s all up to you! You get to determine what your Big Breakdown means and how you are going respond to it. Will you use it to become empowered or disempowered? (Hint: Pick empowered!)
Embrace the Big Breakdown to get to your Big Breakthrough, release resistance and allow the Universe to work its magic! I promise, it will be worth it!
I would love to hear from you – please share with us how you are getting comfortable with being uncomfortable by posting a comment here on my blog.
I often hear from clients that what most keeps them in a disempowered place is the feeling of guilt over something they did, or living with regret over something they did not do. Either of these can deplete energy and block one’s ability to make clear decisions and take massive action. Both can hold us back from what we want most.
I believe in filling our souls up with so much feel good energy that we simply live empowered, unstoppable in our ability to take action, while living FR*EE from joy-robbing guilt and regret! Imagine being in full alignment with positive thoughts every day; feeling empowered, taking meaningful action toward your goals – what you most desire – without negative thoughts. It is possible to live completely FR*EE of the guilt, regret, and all the “could have’s”, “might have’s”, and “should have’s”. All that is necessary is that you give yourself permission to do it.
You deserve an abundance of clean and feel good energy. This is the exact energy that will build your self-confidence, FR*EE you from second-guessing, and spark the clarity and action needed to accomplish your goals. So, give yourself permission, today, to begin to practice living your life guilt and regret FR*EE!
9 Things You Can Do to Practice Living Life Guilt-FR*EE With No Regrets:
- See Opportunity – Not Mistakes. When things fall apart or don’t turn out the way you had hoped, don’t spend time beating yourself up. Look for the opportunity to learn, instead. There is always opportunity – quite often, what appears as the worst situation, is the biggest opportunity in disguise. Don’t allow the situation to defeat you – overcome the situation by making good use of the opportunity it presents.
- Follow Your Own Path. This is the direct route to happiness. Decide today to get off the path that is depleting you, leaving you frustrated and unhappy. When we give up what we desire and “try” to walk on someone else’s path it never works! Instead, we will only find ourselves living with guilt and regret. However, when you claim your inner truth and live your life on your own path, you will find yourself giving and sharing out of your abundance – empowered and productive!
- Make FUN a Sacred Ritual. Put the FUN back in your life and do it like you brush your teeth, daily and with diligence. Connect yourself with laughter – not once in awhile – but on a daily basis. Simply start by smiling more and see what a huge, positive impact this has in your life. You’ll be amazed at how often you receive a smile in return for one of yours, and the way it can immediately energize you.
- Relax & Get Into Your Flow. Breathe more fully and deeply. Recall a time in your life when you were in your “Sweet Spot” and return to this place today. What were you doing? What felt so great? Identify the answers to these two questions. Let go of resistance and move into your flow. You will instantly feel better. You will know you are in your flow, because it will feel, and taste, better than anything in the world!
- Be Adventurous. See life as an adventure, not just something you must deal with. Create little and big adventures in your life. A little adventure could be driving a different route to work or the grocery store, trying a new taste of drink or food. This will open your mind and your senses to experiencing things you have never felt, seen, or even noticed before. Enroll in a yoga class – or any type of class in which you have always wanted to participate. Create more adventure today – in a small, or big, way.
- Be Bold. Face your fear and take action to create the life you truly desire. Start doing this today. Get the support needed via a mentor or coach. You deserve support in your life and having it will save you a lot of time and energy. Make decisions instead of waiting for the right time and perfect conditions – end procrastination. Take yourself to the next level sooner, because you deserve it – NOW!
- LOVE Your Work. If you do not currently love what you do, it is time to get fully honest with yourself and take the steps to do the work you LOVE. Maybe you love your work, but there are elements of it that you don’t love – that’s okay – there is a way to align yourself to live in a space where 95% of the time you are doing what you love.
- Self-Care is How We Bold Women Roll. When we don’t take care of our need to feel GREAT, we are disempowered and exhausted. Get clear on what your particular needs are for self-care – morning, noon, and night – and put this into place starting TODAY. You will not only feel amazing, but you will also FR*EE yourself of feeling awful – for good!
- FUEL Your Body. Begin today to re-fuel with positive thoughts and gratitude, along with clean nutrition. Simply put, when we eat crap, we feel like crap – leaving us vulnerable to guilt and regret. When the body is fueled with too much sugar, it creates chaos and anxiety, completely disconnecting us from our essential self. A poor diet, high in sugar, impairs our ability to think positively. Put in the good stuff and get great results. A guilt FR*EE diet is one more positive way to live life with no regrets!
I would love to hear from you – If you have special tips, which you successfully use to Live Life Guilt-FR*EE With No Regrets, please share them by posting a comment here on my blog.
Here are the top 10 signs that you are on fire (fir-yah) and making your dreams come true!
10. You regularly visualize the end result, fully infused in the after-glow, and you are in the “feeling state” feeling now what it will feel like once your dream comes true.
9. You fully “show – up” everyday – taking action – no matter what – fully committed to consistent action – you no longer get tripped up in fear – feelings of fear have now turned into feelings of excitement – you no longer experience boredom and actually you are feel amazing!
8. You’re not caught up in the “how” it will happen and you have released attachment to the outcome. You are being exactly who you need to be to get something you never have had (oh yeah baby!).
7. It deeply matters to you; you are passionate, and you will not stop.
6. You treat yourself and other people exceptionally well – you have so much to give. You are surrounded by people who dream big and fully support you!
5. You’re smiling way more than normal and are open to new opportunities and fun adventures.
4. You act and speak as if your dream already has come true. You have cut off any other possibility expect your dreams coming true. The f word (failure) is no longer part of your mindset or vocabulary. You radiate all things good!
3. Your dream coming true probably does not depend upon specific people and you no longer worry about what others think. You certainly are not wasting your precious time living in the memories of the past of what could have, would have or should have been. Your time is now and your future has never look so freaking good!
2. You already know what your next goal is, you are OWNING your ambition, life is tasting so sweet and you are fully in your sweet spot!
1. You go to bed excited to wake-up in the morning (my personal favorite!) you are blowing your mind with your new mindset!
I use to think something was wrong with me for not doing the exact thing I knew would help turn my ideas and dreams into reality. I spent a lot of time saying “I know what I need to do, but why the heck am I not doing it?” This really blocked me from achieving my personal and business goals. Can you relate to this?
I spent a lot of time wondering why I wasn’t taking action or implementing the exact thing I said I wanted. I often felt confused, and I finally came to place where I was exhausted and tired of asking myself this question. I fully decided I wasn’t going to let another day, week, month, or year go by, feeling like I missed an opportunity.
Here are 5 tips to get you moving into your exact desires:
- Fully Decide: It is your time NOW and there is no better time to actively pursue your dreams. Why wait? The world needs you NOW. When we decide, we instantly become empowered to take action. The women in my Bold, Brilliant & Rich Life Mastery Program are mastering the power of making decision, and as a result they are up-leveling their lives and business plans. They are now taking action toward the things they once just thought of.
- Create YOUR Plan & Work It: Fully embrace the idea that you are the captain of your ship! Your schedule is about doing the things you love. There is a huge difference in waking up and being clear about the intention and focus of the day, as opposed to waking up and scrambling, just trying to keep up with whatever comes your way. Make time in your schedule to create your plan and work it. I suggest awaking and giving yourself what I call an “Hour of Power.” As women we need more time for us! You can begin with thirty minutes and develop consistency, then work your way up to an hour. You will find over time you crave the full hour because it makes you feel unstoppable, and you begin to see the amazing things you’re accomplishing.
- Priority & Focus: Get clear on your top three priorities and focus on these. Whatever we put our attention and focus on, we get more of. Eliminate the things/activities that drain you from being able to prioritize and focus. Get clear about where you are leaking time and where energy is being drained. This will allow you to make empowered changes to set your priorities and focus on them.
- Own Your Truth: Get honest with yourself and own your truth. Your inner truth is always waiting to be acknowledged so it can emerge and give you the incredible life of success and abundance you’ve always wanted. Most women hide from their truth because they fear what they will find. They have a hunch and knowing that if they follow their truth, their life will change in a powerful. This can be scary or they believe they aren’t deserving of their truth and the freedom it brings. You should know that your truth is the one thing that will set you completely free; the real thing you fear is your brilliance. Get quiet and own your truth. You ARE more than enough and you deserve to have the things you REALLY want deep inside.
- Support & Align yourself with like-minded people: It’s true what the success gurus say about the power of association. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, empowering individuals will keep you on track to your BIG goals and vision. This is the exact reason I invested in a high-level Mastermind group. When I feel as though my vision is too big, my Mastermind pushes me to dream even BIGGER. They see in me what I blindly do not see; they see my brilliance and push me to own my personal power. Because I’m constantly in contact with others who want the same abundant life I seek, it keeps me fully aligned with my goals. Being with a group like this will give support, encouragement and keep you taking action and accomplishing BIG things that bring the success you really want. You are full of potential surround yourself with the people, coaches and mentors that naturally pull this potential out of you.
Apply these 5 tips to your life TODAY – don’t wait – and you’ll find yourself closer to your BIG goals, dreams and vision every day.
Mastermind Groups are a powerful venue for change and have been around for centuries. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, studied the richest men of the early 1900’s and wrote this book as part of his research (if you haven’t read it already I highly recommend it). One of the common practices of all of the wealthy men he researched was that they participated in a Mastermind with other like-minded men. These Mastermind groups served the purpose of helping the participants solve problems and move forward in their goals, making them more wealthy and successful.
“Master Mind as coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose,” is how Napoleon Hill describes the Mastermind idea he studied. “This form of cooperative alliance (the Mastermind) has been the basis of nearly every great fortune. Your understanding of this great truth may definitely determine your financial status.”
Today, women entrepreneurs are designing new models of the Mastermind – and the results are more powerful than ever before. Being a women entrepreneur and being a member of a high level Mastermind group, I’m huge believer in the Mastermind model (in addition to private coaching) because it connects me with like-minded, big vision people and has tripled my success as an entrepreneur. I get to offer my point of view to my Mastermind group, and I receive solutions from the most extraordinary people.
When we try to create a profitable business on our own, it’s too easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated, isolated and stuck. When entrepreneurs are in this place, they (maybe you can relate to this?) they often begin to think that maybe there is something wrong with them. But the real truth is there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, the real truth is that you have a profound message to share that will help people transform their lives. I know deep in your heart you long to get this message out in the world in a BIG WAY!
But what exactly is a Mastermind? And how do you know if it’s for you?
Below are five elements of a Mastermind group. This will give you an idea of how they work so you can decide whether or not you would like to form a Mastermind or join one.
1. A Mastermind allows you to see a much bigger vision for yourself and moves you forward allowing you to take much bigger leaps.
A Mastermind is about creating consistent forward momentum and helping you achieve your dreams and goals. A Mastermind group brings out the things that are within you that you cannot see for yourself.
Masterminds are different than support groups. Support groups are wonderful to heal from past trauma, but Masterminds are not about healing. Mastermind groups are about growing taking big leaps and being willing to live out your fullest potential and playing your biggest game.
People who try to form casual Masterminds often end up disappointed. Causal Masterminds are much different than a Mastermind group with strong coaching and high level teaching of mindset, systems and marketing.
All members have to hold that level of energy, commitment, desire and set an intention to keep that momentum. This is not always an easy task!
2. A Mastermind Group is about powerful shifts in your mindset. Complaining, excuse-making and whining are not options!
In a Mastermind, each person gets a “hot seat” to present her big vision for her business and life to the group. The person presents her goals, dreams, and challenges. Tears often happen, as she is releasing fearful energy that up to this point has kept her stuck and realizing the time is NOW to move forward.
Complaining, excuses-making, whining and the feelings of staying stuck quickly dissolve. You are not only heard and fully supported, you are also given you need to gain clarity and move forward. Mindsets are a huge part of the Mastermind.
3. A Mastermind Group is about growth and expansion out of your comfort zone.
Most people desire expansion and growth. People who join a Mastermind know in their gut without growth for their purpose and dreams they’ll die a slow death. When you take part in a Mastermind you will be expanded and stretched. This excites people because they know on the other side of their comfort zone is huge growth. In fact, this is one of the biggest reasons people want to take part in a Mastermind! They know the results they have had from staying within their comfort zones and not satisfactory. Masterminds are very effective because they require you to expand out your comfort zone so you get the results you want (let’s get serious – helping more people, more money, more personal freedom and the business you love!).
4. A Mastermind Group offers support and holds you accountable.
For me personally, I am showing up for my life and business in a way I have never done before as a result of being part of a Mastermind. The results I am achieving are mind blowing! So much, in fact, I won the recent “Implementation Challenge” amongst my Mastermind group.
You see, creating a clear vision, having systems, and deciding and taking action are my strengths, and Masterminding has made these strengths even stronger (actually this is one reason why my clients love me as their coach. I move them from being stuck to achieving freedom through clarity, systems, deciding and action).
5. A Mastermind creates a huge space for new ideas, implementation, and resources. It’s a relationship of giving and receiving.
Each person is fully present and committed to supporting their Mastermind group. When each person gives their full focus and attention to one person and her dreams, brilliant ideas spark and solutions are offered. Challenges are no more – that is the power of the group. Resources and connections are often discovered in the process. This is just some of the tremendous value and benefit to taking part in a Mastermind.
There is something incredibly powerful about being amongst a group of Big Visionaries within the Mastermind.
Napoleon Hill put it this way: “No two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”
The intention with the Mastermind group taps into a higher source of intelligence and creativity naturally guiding the group and moving it forward together. A greater awareness happens.
The awareness of this “third” mind helps me trust and access the knowing from within. Therefore, I am able to walk into fear and trust there is something bigger happening on the other side of fear.
Being part of a Mastermind is the greatest gift I could have ever given my business. It was an investment and risk I knew I had to take if I ever wanted to grow my business to a point where I could help more women and produce a larger income. Without risk, there is no reward.
Owning your personal power is the essence to living and creating the richest life possible. When I speak of personal power, I don’t mean physical power. I mean stepping into a place where your time is spent living from your heart and being connected to your creative energy, speaking your truth, making high value choices and taking actions towards your goals. I completely encourage you to make a shift out of the old paradigm that states, “It’s bad for a woman to be confident, assertive, decisive and completely happy.” Shift into a new way to be, live and lead your life. Imagine how you might feel by fully embracing your unique gifts, and how making this shift will bring better results to your life and business.
I’d like you to answer this question: Are you consciously aware of your personal power? If so, do you embrace it or push it away?
How many times has someone told you that you are amazing, that they love your artwork, or your teachings? That your sales numbers are on track? How often do you push them away saying, “Who me?” “No. I’m really not.” “Sales could be a lot better.” And you think, “If they only knew the real truth”
My client Jill is a great example of someone who pushes her personal power away. She used to think her six-figure success was just a mistake, like she stumbled into it or she was just in the right place at the right time. She didn’t claim she created it by her dedication, effort and her own brilliance. She pushed her personal power away and thought her success was something outside herself. Being in this place of disempowerment inhibited her ability to fully absorb, to fully taste her success. She would spend a lot of time thinking she wasn’t doing enough. She watched everyone else doing things she should be doing, instead of fully engaging in the results she had created. Here she was, having achieved exactly what she had wanted but believing she wasn’t good enough for the job and acting like her success was some fluke.
Another client I coached named Susan pushed all compliments away in regards to the awards she received for her outstanding performance. When someone would walk into her office and comment on her achievement plaques hanging on the wall, instead of saying thank you and fully feeling her success, she would think, “If they only knew the real truth.” This place of disempowerment kept her playing small. She focused on what she didn’t have versus what she had already created. Because she was disempowered, Susan struggled to complete the daily tasks that would have allowed her to move forward. Rather, she distracted herself to avoid the progress that would propel her toward success for fear that someone may “find her out”.
One of my favorite lines from Marianne Williamson is, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
What Jill and Susan didn’t know was that living your life and running your business comes from the same power source: you, because they are made up of you. We bring ourselves to everything we do: disempowered or empowered.
Are you ready to boldly go to an area you may not have considered? Imagine stepping into your personal power. What would your life look like from this view? What choices would you make?
I would like you to create a New Healthy Vision of Your Personal Power. The first step is to take note of the areas where you are disempowered.
Examples of disempowerment:
- I don’t acknowledge my areas of success.
- I help other people to avoid looking at my life and creating my own personal success.
- I say yes when I mean no.
- I hide behind my truth.
- I stay in a place of overwhelm.
Then create a list with a new vision to step into your personal power:
- I acknowledge my areas of success.
- I look directly at the areas of my life that overwhelm me and find the resources I need to accomplish my goals.
- I say, “Yes” to only the people and things I want to say, “yes” to, and I say, “No” when I mean, “no”.
- I empower myself to move beyond my place of overwhelm.
Start to adjust your thinking and your lifestyle to your new vision of personal power. You’ll be amazed at the impact it will have on your life and your success!
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
Emotional triggers can happen just like that! One minute you’re feeling great, the next you’re down in the dumps. Have you ever experienced this? You read something, have a conversation with someone, see a colleague who’s doing something that you wish you were, see a couple laughing or a woman dressed really nicely, and all of a sudden your energy and joy decreases.
You may not even realize you’ve been triggered. But you know you feel off and out of alignment. Perhaps you become anxious, jealous, fearful or simply shut down.
It is really not about the other person, what you read or what you saw. Triggers take you back to an unpleasant event in your past, which is what stirs up the unpleasant feelings. However, being triggered is a great opportunity to heal, learn, grow and fully become more YOU.
One negative emotional trigger can lead you down a painful path to feeling powerless if you don’t know what’s going on. That’s why it’s so important to become fully aware of the things that trigger you.
Negative triggers can have the following manifestations:
- Physical: You are depleted of energy, eat more junk food, and become sleepy.
- Emotional: You lack motivation and feel helpless, overwhelmed, angry, anxious or depressed.
- Mental: You are less aware; you procrastinate, and have repeated self-defeating thoughts.
- Spiritual: You have no connection to purpose, creativity or inspiration.
Everyone has emotional triggers. Here are some ways in which you can learn to master them.
- Make a List of Your Emotional Triggers
Understanding what your emotional triggers are raises your awareness so that you can create a plan for self-care, be well and not suffer when they arise. Also, it is important to recognize that when we are fatigued, we are much more susceptible to our negative emotional triggers.
- Be Present to How You Feel.
Remind yourself that you’re being triggered because of a connection to a past event and detach from the old story. Release it. Decide to not give your power and energy away to someone or something that is not serving you. The only way to move on is to empower yourself to let go. When you’re empowered and in alignment, you feel energized, happy and great. Stay connected to how you feel throughout the day.
- Get Out of Reactive Mode
You can learn a lot from emotional triggers – and growing from them takes you to a higher level in your life. Understanding our triggers teaches us valuable lessons about who we are and what brings us peace. From here, we get to create new options for ourselves rather than staying in reactive mode.
The next time you find that you are experiencing negative repercussions from a trigger, stop and realize that you have a choice in whether you react. If you know your buttons are being pushed, breathe and choose calm. Think, “What is the big lesson for me to learn here?” Asking questions like
- Do I want to react or grow?
- Is relinquishing my power to someone else in alignment with my desires?
- What do I know to be true today?
will help you move through the negativity and learn the lesson you are being taught by the experience. Learn to choose calm over chaos.
There was a time in my life I was really disconnected to my own self. I didn’t even know what I liked, what pleased me, not to mention, what I wanted to do with my precious life. But the one thing I did know, I was not living the life I desired. I felt this in my soul. It’s not something I had to know – it was a feeling deep down inside me.
Once I figured out who I was as a woman, I was so afraid to reveal this to the world. I was afraid to dress the way I truly wanted, even as far as being afraid to wear too big of earrings in case people talked about me. I was afraid to tell people that, once, I really wanted to take my own life. I was afraid to eat super healthy food in front of people who weren’t eating the same way or who were unhealthy themselves. I thought people will think I am crazy; too much – too demanding – too into living a higher quality life.
So, I just kept myself a very small version of me in hopes I wouldn’t rock the boat. In order to not get people mad, I kept myself safe and small so others would like me and wouldn’t judge me for living a happy and healthy life.
Has something like this ever happened to you?
Many of my private clients used to be scared silly to express who they are as a woman and what their place is in this world. They stay quiet; stay in the wrong place in their lives or careers; carry extra weight and have depleted energy and bank accounts. Sound familiar?
Take an honest look at what your life is right now. When it comes to your body, your relationships, your personal life, your career - Are you a woman who is rocking it authentically, or are you hiding behind the rock? Playing small, playing safe and hiding behind a rock – doesn’t work EVER! I know!!
I lived behind the rock for a long time. Why? Because nothing was ever allowed to feel good … I never allowed myself the pleasure of a job well done; the pleasure of living a good and healthy life; of having quality relationships. Living behind the rock keeps you completely out of alignment with who you really are; who you are meant to be and it will never bring you any closer to your heart desires.
How do you step into who you really are as a women and be who you are meant to be?
Take a look at this list and see what you can change and start working on today.
Women Who Rock Out Life Authentically …
1. Never apologizes for who she is, what she wears, what she desires and for what she does or what she doesn’t like.
2. Says what she means even if it pisses people off.
3. Lives her life with compassion but doesn’t sacrifice her happiness for others.
4. Has very clear boundaries
5. Is very clear with when she says YES and when she says NO
6. Lives free from guilt, self-criticism, and gossip
7. Asks for what she needs – without hesitation.
8. Brings her best self forward even when she doesn’t feel like it.
9. Knows that if she is at a restaurant and her meal comes not to her standard, she can graciously ask for it to be returned, corrected or ask for something else – without feeling like she’s been needy or a b%$#@.
10. Knows how to please herself and knows how to ask others to please her.
11. Is surrounded by friends that support and challenge her to be her best.
12. Wears larger than life earrings when she feels like (My private clients did this – it felt so good to her to wear what she truly desired)
13. Rests and replenishes because she craves it.
14. Makes decisions without the need to justify them.
15.Knows when she indulges in spa treatments or shopping, she doesn’t have to hide it from her loved ones.
16. Spends quality time with her children and loved ones, free from distraction.
17. Thrives on contribution.
18. Knows exactly when she needs rest.
19. Flosses her teeth, feeds her body with high quality food.
20. Seeks all things wonderful.
21. Doesn’t waste time in drama and chaos
22. Has decided to no longer waste time with body image issue; rather set her life up to love her body and support it.
23. Invests in herself and life without hesitation or guilt.
24. Continuously adds more color in to her life.
25. Allows herself to connect to her sensual energy as women.
26. Lives in love not in fear.
27. No longer pretends everything is o.k. when it’s not. She stopped pretending and telling herself it will get better. She finally gives herself the gift of a powerful coach.
28. Allows dreams; she is curious; she desires the best for herself, family, animals and community
So tell me… how will you authentically start Rocking Your Life Out? Start today by posting your comments on how you will start. I would love to hear them!! Together we can do this!