Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman?
October 2, 2012 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
I used to tell myself I didn’t need support. I was in a place where I felt I had to be superwoman; taking care of my daughter, running my own business, doing life’s every day necessities and, finally, taking care of myself. I thought I could do it all by myself because I figured I didn’t have the time, energy or money to find the support, coach or mentor I needed to make life easier.
Boy was I mistaken! In my blindness (or stubbornness), I cost myself more time, more energy and so much more money in doing it alone than what I would have achieved by resourcing out and getting some help.
The “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality does NOT work.You know it deep down, just as I knew it for years.
Being on my own slowed me way down. I spent time doing the things I really didn’t want to do and questioned myself constantly. This almost always left me frustrated, stuck and overwhelmed.
The truth is that we women need support to enhance our life and to allow our brilliance to SHINE. Our precious energy should go into the things we love, so our brilliance is accessed as we create a healthy body, are able to spend more time with the people we love, and create our own life masterpiece.
When we fully step into our true brilliance, we are able to use our unique abilities to exponentially grow our business and have more energy to support other women who want to do the same.
When you say, “Yes!” to support in your life, your level of happiness increasessignificantly, you actually complete the things you always wanted to do, yourrelationships are much more fulfilling and you make way more money.
Trying to do it all by yourself keeps you disconnected from your authentic voice, desires and talents, not to mention, exhausted!
3 Reasons why the “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality can get you into serious trouble:
1. It keeps you from having it all
You life is not meant to be a struggle. You were born to live in purpose. When you’re doing things every single day that take away from your true purpose, you’re giving these tasks your “good” energy. You’re working hard at things that do not fall within your unique ability or enhance your skills in the area where you’re truly gifted.
When you are doing it all by yourself, it is nearly impossible to expand your life and purpose. Think about the possibilities, the growth and success that could be yours if you were able to give all of your good energy to your brilliance, your unique talents and gifts. Success and abundance would explode!
You are a very powerful woman who deserves to be supported so you can create exactly what you desire. You don’t have to keep trying to do it all by yourself.
2. Your precious energy is spent on tasks that deplete YOU
Imagine having the support in your life and no longer feeling depleted from doing the tasks that you really don’t love to do. The shackles on feeling lost disappear. You would really transform if more of your precious energy was invested in the things and areas of your life that completely fill your soul up.
When you are trying to do it all by yourself, your energy becomes depleted and often we become disconnected from what we really want.
If you keep living your life this way, you will become unhappy and dissatisfied with every area of your life. There’s a reason we’re supposed to spend time on the things our souls long for – it gives us vision into our true purpose, the thing that will leave us fulfilled and truly happy.
3. You constrict yourself from the very growth you desire
Let me guess, you’ve tried to do everything yourself and it has left you frustrated and exhausted. I know because I felt the same way. When you have support in your life, you move with ease and everything seems effortless.
Allowing support into your life allows you to expand and adds quicker pace than trying to do it all. When you are constantly trying, you are fighting against the current, rather than moving effortlessly with the flow and your whole life is a struggle.
The reality is your life and the people in your life will greatly benefit if you admit in your inability to do it all and align yourself with the support you need.Your business will grow, your personal outlook will be enhanced, and you will finally be living the life you know you deserve.
More importantly, your personal value will increase tremendously, and you’llfeel more empowered, self-confident, and a lot more like the “Superwoman” you were trying to be before you took on real support.
Do yourself a favor and seek support now. Your family, your happiness and your life depends on it.
Top 10 Signs You Are on Fire & Making Your Dreams Come True
July 31, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Here are the top 10 signs that you are on fire (fir-yah) and making your dreams come true!
10. You regularly visualize the end result, fully infused in the after-glow, and you are in the “feeling state” feeling now what it will feel like once your dream comes true.
9. You fully “show – up” everyday – taking action – no matter what – fully committed to consistent action – you no longer get tripped up in fear – feelings of fear have now turned into feelings of excitement – you no longer experience boredom and actually you are feel amazing!
8. You’re not caught up in the “how” it will happen and you have released attachment to the outcome. You are being exactly who you need to be to get something you never have had (oh yeah baby!).
7. It deeply matters to you; you are passionate, and you will not stop.
6. You treat yourself and other people exceptionally well – you have so much to give. You are surrounded by people who dream big and fully support you!
5. You’re smiling way more than normal and are open to new opportunities and fun adventures.
4. You act and speak as if your dream already has come true. You have cut off any other possibility expect your dreams coming true. The f word (failure) is no longer part of your mindset or vocabulary. You radiate all things good!
3. Your dream coming true probably does not depend upon specific people and you no longer worry about what others think. You certainly are not wasting your precious time living in the memories of the past of what could have, would have or should have been. Your time is now and your future has never look so freaking good!
2. You already know what your next goal is, you are OWNING your ambition, life is tasting so sweet and you are fully in your sweet spot!
1. You go to bed excited to wake-up in the morning (my personal favorite!) you are blowing your mind with your new mindset!
5 Ways To Just Do It
July 10, 2012 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
I use to think something was wrong with me for not doing the exact thing I knew would help turn my ideas and dreams into reality. I spent a lot of time saying “I know what I need to do, but why the heck am I not doing it?” This really blocked me from achieving my personal and business goals. Can you relate to this?
I spent a lot of time wondering why I wasn’t taking action or implementing the exact thing I said I wanted. I often felt confused, and I finally came to place where I was exhausted and tired of asking myself this question. I fully decided I wasn’t going to let another day, week, month, or year go by, feeling like I missed an opportunity.
Here are 5 tips to get you moving into your exact desires:
- Fully Decide: It is your time NOW and there is no better time to actively pursue your dreams. Why wait? The world needs you NOW. When we decide, we instantly become empowered to take action. The women in my Bold, Brilliant & Rich Life Mastery Program are mastering the power of making decision, and as a result they are up-leveling their lives and business plans. They are now taking action toward the things they once just thought of.
- Create YOUR Plan & Work It: Fully embrace the idea that you are the captain of your ship! Your schedule is about doing the things you love. There is a huge difference in waking up and being clear about the intention and focus of the day, as opposed to waking up and scrambling, just trying to keep up with whatever comes your way. Make time in your schedule to create your plan and work it. I suggest awaking and giving yourself what I call an “Hour of Power.” As women we need more time for us! You can begin with thirty minutes and develop consistency, then work your way up to an hour. You will find over time you crave the full hour because it makes you feel unstoppable, and you begin to see the amazing things you’re accomplishing.
- Priority & Focus: Get clear on your top three priorities and focus on these. Whatever we put our attention and focus on, we get more of. Eliminate the things/activities that drain you from being able to prioritize and focus. Get clear about where you are leaking time and where energy is being drained. This will allow you to make empowered changes to set your priorities and focus on them.
- Own Your Truth: Get honest with yourself and own your truth. Your inner truth is always waiting to be acknowledged so it can emerge and give you the incredible life of success and abundance you’ve always wanted. Most women hide from their truth because they fear what they will find. They have a hunch and knowing that if they follow their truth, their life will change in a powerful. This can be scary or they believe they aren’t deserving of their truth and the freedom it brings. You should know that your truth is the one thing that will set you completely free; the real thing you fear is your brilliance. Get quiet and own your truth. You ARE more than enough and you deserve to have the things you REALLY want deep inside.
- Support & Align yourself with like-minded people: It’s true what the success gurus say about the power of association. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, empowering individuals will keep you on track to your BIG goals and vision. This is the exact reason I invested in a high-level Mastermind group. When I feel as though my vision is too big, my Mastermind pushes me to dream even BIGGER. They see in me what I blindly do not see; they see my brilliance and push me to own my personal power. Because I’m constantly in contact with others who want the same abundant life I seek, it keeps me fully aligned with my goals. Being with a group like this will give support, encouragement and keep you taking action and accomplishing BIG things that bring the success you really want. You are full of potential surround yourself with the people, coaches and mentors that naturally pull this potential out of you.
Apply these 5 tips to your life TODAY – don’t wait – and you’ll find yourself closer to your BIG goals, dreams and vision every day.
5 Amazing Benefits of Masterminding!
June 13, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Mastermind Groups are a powerful venue for change and have been around for centuries. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, studied the richest men of the early 1900’s and wrote this book as part of his research (if you haven’t read it already I highly recommend it). One of the common practices of all of the wealthy men he researched was that they participated in a Mastermind with other like-minded men. These Mastermind groups served the purpose of helping the participants solve problems and move forward in their goals, making them more wealthy and successful.
“Master Mind as coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose,” is how Napoleon Hill describes the Mastermind idea he studied. “This form of cooperative alliance (the Mastermind) has been the basis of nearly every great fortune. Your understanding of this great truth may definitely determine your financial status.”
Today, women entrepreneurs are designing new models of the Mastermind – and the results are more powerful than ever before. Being a women entrepreneur and being a member of a high level Mastermind group, I’m huge believer in the Mastermind model (in addition to private coaching) because it connects me with like-minded, big vision people and has tripled my success as an entrepreneur. I get to offer my point of view to my Mastermind group, and I receive solutions from the most extraordinary people.
When we try to create a profitable business on our own, it’s too easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated, isolated and stuck. When entrepreneurs are in this place, they (maybe you can relate to this?) they often begin to think that maybe there is something wrong with them. But the real truth is there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, the real truth is that you have a profound message to share that will help people transform their lives. I know deep in your heart you long to get this message out in the world in a BIG WAY!
But what exactly is a Mastermind? And how do you know if it’s for you?
Below are five elements of a Mastermind group. This will give you an idea of how they work so you can decide whether or not you would like to form a Mastermind or join one.
1. A Mastermind allows you to see a much bigger vision for yourself and moves you forward allowing you to take much bigger leaps.
A Mastermind is about creating consistent forward momentum and helping you achieve your dreams and goals. A Mastermind group brings out the things that are within you that you cannot see for yourself.
Masterminds are different than support groups. Support groups are wonderful to heal from past trauma, but Masterminds are not about healing. Mastermind groups are about growing taking big leaps and being willing to live out your fullest potential and playing your biggest game.
People who try to form casual Masterminds often end up disappointed. Causal Masterminds are much different than a Mastermind group with strong coaching and high level teaching of mindset, systems and marketing.
All members have to hold that level of energy, commitment, desire and set an intention to keep that momentum. This is not always an easy task!
2. A Mastermind Group is about powerful shifts in your mindset. Complaining, excuse-making and whining are not options!
In a Mastermind, each person gets a “hot seat” to present her big vision for her business and life to the group. The person presents her goals, dreams, and challenges. Tears often happen, as she is releasing fearful energy that up to this point has kept her stuck and realizing the time is NOW to move forward.
Complaining, excuses-making, whining and the feelings of staying stuck quickly dissolve. You are not only heard and fully supported, you are also given you need to gain clarity and move forward. Mindsets are a huge part of the Mastermind.
3. A Mastermind Group is about growth and expansion out of your comfort zone.
Most people desire expansion and growth. People who join a Mastermind know in their gut without growth for their purpose and dreams they’ll die a slow death. When you take part in a Mastermind you will be expanded and stretched. This excites people because they know on the other side of their comfort zone is huge growth. In fact, this is one of the biggest reasons people want to take part in a Mastermind! They know the results they have had from staying within their comfort zones and not satisfactory. Masterminds are very effective because they require you to expand out your comfort zone so you get the results you want (let’s get serious – helping more people, more money, more personal freedom and the business you love!).
4. A Mastermind Group offers support and holds you accountable.
For me personally, I am showing up for my life and business in a way I have never done before as a result of being part of a Mastermind. The results I am achieving are mind blowing! So much, in fact, I won the recent “Implementation Challenge” amongst my Mastermind group.
You see, creating a clear vision, having systems, and deciding and taking action are my strengths, and Masterminding has made these strengths even stronger (actually this is one reason why my clients love me as their coach. I move them from being stuck to achieving freedom through clarity, systems, deciding and action).
5. A Mastermind creates a huge space for new ideas, implementation, and resources. It’s a relationship of giving and receiving.
Each person is fully present and committed to supporting their Mastermind group. When each person gives their full focus and attention to one person and her dreams, brilliant ideas spark and solutions are offered. Challenges are no more – that is the power of the group. Resources and connections are often discovered in the process. This is just some of the tremendous value and benefit to taking part in a Mastermind.
There is something incredibly powerful about being amongst a group of Big Visionaries within the Mastermind.
Napoleon Hill put it this way: “No two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”
The intention with the Mastermind group taps into a higher source of intelligence and creativity naturally guiding the group and moving it forward together. A greater awareness happens.
The awareness of this “third” mind helps me trust and access the knowing from within. Therefore, I am able to walk into fear and trust there is something bigger happening on the other side of fear.
Being part of a Mastermind is the greatest gift I could have ever given my business. It was an investment and risk I knew I had to take if I ever wanted to grow my business to a point where I could help more women and produce a larger income. Without risk, there is no reward.
Claim Your Personal Power
June 5, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Owning your personal power is the essence to living and creating the richest life possible. When I speak of personal power, I don’t mean physical power. I mean stepping into a place where your time is spent living from your heart and being connected to your creative energy, speaking your truth, making high value choices and taking actions towards your goals. I completely encourage you to make a shift out of the old paradigm that states, “It’s bad for a woman to be confident, assertive, decisive and completely happy.” Shift into a new way to be, live and lead your life. Imagine how you might feel by fully embracing your unique gifts, and how making this shift will bring better results to your life and business.
I’d like you to answer this question: Are you consciously aware of your personal power? If so, do you embrace it or push it away?
How many times has someone told you that you are amazing, that they love your artwork, or your teachings? That your sales numbers are on track? How often do you push them away saying, “Who me?” “No. I’m really not.” “Sales could be a lot better.” And you think, “If they only knew the real truth”
My client Jill is a great example of someone who pushes her personal power away. She used to think her six-figure success was just a mistake, like she stumbled into it or she was just in the right place at the right time. She didn’t claim she created it by her dedication, effort and her own brilliance. She pushed her personal power away and thought her success was something outside herself. Being in this place of disempowerment inhibited her ability to fully absorb, to fully taste her success. She would spend a lot of time thinking she wasn’t doing enough. She watched everyone else doing things she should be doing, instead of fully engaging in the results she had created. Here she was, having achieved exactly what she had wanted but believing she wasn’t good enough for the job and acting like her success was some fluke.
Another client I coached named Susan pushed all compliments away in regards to the awards she received for her outstanding performance. When someone would walk into her office and comment on her achievement plaques hanging on the wall, instead of saying thank you and fully feeling her success, she would think, “If they only knew the real truth.” This place of disempowerment kept her playing small. She focused on what she didn’t have versus what she had already created. Because she was disempowered, Susan struggled to complete the daily tasks that would have allowed her to move forward. Rather, she distracted herself to avoid the progress that would propel her toward success for fear that someone may “find her out”.
One of my favorite lines from Marianne Williamson is, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
What Jill and Susan didn’t know was that living your life and running your business comes from the same power source: you, because they are made up of you. We bring ourselves to everything we do: disempowered or empowered.
Are you ready to boldly go to an area you may not have considered? Imagine stepping into your personal power. What would your life look like from this view? What choices would you make?
I would like you to create a New Healthy Vision of Your Personal Power. The first step is to take note of the areas where you are disempowered.
Examples of disempowerment:
- I don’t acknowledge my areas of success.
- I help other people to avoid looking at my life and creating my own personal success.
- I say yes when I mean no.
- I hide behind my truth.
- I stay in a place of overwhelm.
Then create a list with a new vision to step into your personal power:
- I acknowledge my areas of success.
- I look directly at the areas of my life that overwhelm me and find the resources I need to accomplish my goals.
- I say, “Yes” to only the people and things I want to say, “yes” to, and I say, “No” when I mean, “no”.
- I empower myself to move beyond my place of overwhelm.
Start to adjust your thinking and your lifestyle to your new vision of personal power. You’ll be amazed at the impact it will have on your life and your success!
The Top 7 Things That Hold Women Back From Taking The Big Leap
May 29, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
1. Indecision:
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
2. Procrastination:
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
4. Worry;
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
5. Fear:
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
Master Your Emotional Triggers
April 24, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Emotional triggers can happen just like that! One minute you’re feeling great, the next you’re down in the dumps. Have you ever experienced this? You read something, have a conversation with someone, see a colleague who’s doing something that you wish you were, see a couple laughing or a woman dressed really nicely, and all of a sudden your energy and joy decreases.
You may not even realize you’ve been triggered. But you know you feel off and out of alignment. Perhaps you become anxious, jealous, fearful or simply shut down.
It is really not about the other person, what you read or what you saw. Triggers take you back to an unpleasant event in your past, which is what stirs up the unpleasant feelings. However, being triggered is a great opportunity to heal, learn, grow and fully become more YOU.
One negative emotional trigger can lead you down a painful path to feeling powerless if you don’t know what’s going on. That’s why it’s so important to become fully aware of the things that trigger you.
Negative triggers can have the following manifestations:
- Physical: You are depleted of energy, eat more junk food, and become sleepy.
- Emotional: You lack motivation and feel helpless, overwhelmed, angry, anxious or depressed.
- Mental: You are less aware; you procrastinate, and have repeated self-defeating thoughts.
- Spiritual: You have no connection to purpose, creativity or inspiration.
Everyone has emotional triggers. Here are some ways in which you can learn to master them.
- Make a List of Your Emotional Triggers
Understanding what your emotional triggers are raises your awareness so that you can create a plan for self-care, be well and not suffer when they arise. Also, it is important to recognize that when we are fatigued, we are much more susceptible to our negative emotional triggers. - Be Present to How You Feel.
Remind yourself that you’re being triggered because of a connection to a past event and detach from the old story. Release it. Decide to not give your power and energy away to someone or something that is not serving you. The only way to move on is to empower yourself to let go. When you’re empowered and in alignment, you feel energized, happy and great. Stay connected to how you feel throughout the day. - Get Out of Reactive Mode
You can learn a lot from emotional triggers – and growing from them takes you to a higher level in your life. Understanding our triggers teaches us valuable lessons about who we are and what brings us peace. From here, we get to create new options for ourselves rather than staying in reactive mode.
The next time you find that you are experiencing negative repercussions from a trigger, stop and realize that you have a choice in whether you react. If you know your buttons are being pushed, breathe and choose calm. Think, “What is the big lesson for me to learn here?” Asking questions like
- Do I want to react or grow?
- Is relinquishing my power to someone else in alignment with my desires?
- What do I know to be true today?
will help you move through the negativity and learn the lesson you are being taught by the experience. Learn to choose calm over chaos.
28 Ways to Rock Your Own World!
April 17, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
There was a time in my life I was really disconnected to my own self. I didn’t even know what I liked, what pleased me, not to mention, what I wanted to do with my precious life. But the one thing I did know, I was not living the life I desired. I felt this in my soul. It’s not something I had to know – it was a feeling deep down inside me.
Once I figured out who I was as a woman, I was so afraid to reveal this to the world. I was afraid to dress the way I truly wanted, even as far as being afraid to wear too big of earrings in case people talked about me. I was afraid to tell people that, once, I really wanted to take my own life. I was afraid to eat super healthy food in front of people who weren’t eating the same way or who were unhealthy themselves. I thought people will think I am crazy; too much – too demanding – too into living a higher quality life.
So, I just kept myself a very small version of me in hopes I wouldn’t rock the boat. In order to not get people mad, I kept myself safe and small so others would like me and wouldn’t judge me for living a happy and healthy life.
Has something like this ever happened to you?
Many of my private clients used to be scared silly to express who they are as a woman and what their place is in this world. They stay quiet; stay in the wrong place in their lives or careers; carry extra weight and have depleted energy and bank accounts. Sound familiar?
Take an honest look at what your life is right now. When it comes to your body, your relationships, your personal life, your career - Are you a woman who is rocking it authentically, or are you hiding behind the rock? Playing small, playing safe and hiding behind a rock – doesn’t work EVER! I know!!
I lived behind the rock for a long time. Why? Because nothing was ever allowed to feel good … I never allowed myself the pleasure of a job well done; the pleasure of living a good and healthy life; of having quality relationships. Living behind the rock keeps you completely out of alignment with who you really are; who you are meant to be and it will never bring you any closer to your heart desires.
How do you step into who you really are as a women and be who you are meant to be?
Take a look at this list and see what you can change and start working on today.
Women Who Rock Out Life Authentically …
1. Never apologizes for who she is, what she wears, what she desires and for what she does or what she doesn’t like.
2. Says what she means even if it pisses people off.
3. Lives her life with compassion but doesn’t sacrifice her happiness for others.
4. Has very clear boundaries
5. Is very clear with when she says YES and when she says NO
6. Lives free from guilt, self-criticism, and gossip
7. Asks for what she needs – without hesitation.
8. Brings her best self forward even when she doesn’t feel like it.
9. Knows that if she is at a restaurant and her meal comes not to her standard, she can graciously ask for it to be returned, corrected or ask for something else – without feeling like she’s been needy or a b%$#@.
10. Knows how to please herself and knows how to ask others to please her.
11. Is surrounded by friends that support and challenge her to be her best.
12. Wears larger than life earrings when she feels like (My private clients did this – it felt so good to her to wear what she truly desired)
13. Rests and replenishes because she craves it.
14. Makes decisions without the need to justify them.
15.Knows when she indulges in spa treatments or shopping, she doesn’t have to hide it from her loved ones.
16. Spends quality time with her children and loved ones, free from distraction.
17. Thrives on contribution.
18. Knows exactly when she needs rest.
19. Flosses her teeth, feeds her body with high quality food.
20. Seeks all things wonderful.
21. Doesn’t waste time in drama and chaos
22. Has decided to no longer waste time with body image issue; rather set her life up to love her body and support it.
23. Invests in herself and life without hesitation or guilt.
24. Continuously adds more color in to her life.
25. Allows herself to connect to her sensual energy as women.
26. Lives in love not in fear.
27. No longer pretends everything is o.k. when it’s not. She stopped pretending and telling herself it will get better. She finally gives herself the gift of a powerful coach.
28. Allows dreams; she is curious; she desires the best for herself, family, animals and community
So tell me… how will you authentically start Rocking Your Life Out? Start today by posting your comments on how you will start. I would love to hear them!! Together we can do this!
6 Tips to Rock Your Confidence
April 10, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
6 Tips to Rock Your Confidence
Part of being a confident, strong, successful woman is living from a place of calm and fully connecting to your inner rhythm. Doing away with drama, chaos, worry, self-criticism and such behaviors will allow you to instantly feel a sense of calm in your life.
Being free from everything that is not authentic to you will give you a sense of calm so you can get clear and take action on the things you’ve been secretly dreaming about.
1. Confident women have no interest in interpreting the actions of others (big energy zapper).
Let go of the need to worry, especially about what others think or meant when they did this or said that. Release the need to ruminate on what happened, what you did or didn’t say or what others did or didn’t do. Completely release worrying from your life and about what others think. Worry doesn’t bring happiness.
The truth of the matter is we have no idea of and we have no control over what others think. When we spend time interpreting the actions of others, it depletes us and distracts us from our life; these distractions usually leads to self-sabotaging behaviors. Let go today of the habit of interpreting others’ actions and put this energy into living out your desires and creating the most meaningful life.
Make a sacred commitment today to free yourself for good from analyzing the actions of others. Replace this energy with dreaming BIG – you will instantly feel better!
2. Confident women choose a life free from worry.
Worrying about the things from the past, future and things we can’t control, never provides a helpful solution or contributes productively to our goals and dreams. Worry is a big distraction, holding us back and keeping us from taking consciousness and meaningful action in our lives.
Make a list of all the things you worry about on a daily basis and replace this worry with something that positively and powerfully fills your soul instead. You will feel so much better and feel more alive.
3. Confident women enjoy every moment in life – even the difficult ones.
Confident women know how to savor every morsel of life. They believe themselves to be strong, resourceful and creative, even in when things become challenging. They know that through challenge, there is growth.
Allow your self to move in the flow of things and let go of resistance. This is key even when things are most challenging. Staying connected to your good flowing energy, even in the most challenging moments in life, means looking for positive and creative solutions. You must let go of critical or negative thoughts so you are able to find the perfect opportunity in the challenging moment.
4. Confident women feel connected to themselves, others and nature.
The more you love yourself and the more connected you feel to yourself and with others, the more you give and receive.
Spend time each day whether it’ s journaling, taking a walk in nature, meditating or drinking a cup of tea, in quiet and begin to connect with yourself again. Dig deep into your soul and connect with you dreams and desires. Get to know yourself well, so you can begin to create the life you want and share your best self with the people in your world.
5. A confident woman smiles with her mouth, heart and eyes.
Your eyes are the pathway to your heart and soul – smile with them. Really practice this right now go to the mirror and smile at yourself with your eyes. Smiling brings feel-good energy and is very contagious. Smiling is a reflection of inner happiness and is a gift you can share with the world wherever you are.
6. Confident women act spontaneously and are not paralyzed by fear.
Please don’t let fear from the past, or fear of what could happen, stop you from being authentic and real right now. The past is the past, and we all have things from the past we would rather forget. The future hasn’t happened so fearing what could happen really isn’t the best way to engage in your life. If you allow yourself to give your power to the past or the future, this will hold you back. Allow your self to learn and grow, so you move on from the past and live in the present.
The Power of Focus
April 3, 2012 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
The power of focus with commitment and consistency creates momentum; and momentum creates more momentum.
The actions we take in life not only bring success but also teaches us new ways of being in the world. For example, if we are expanding ourselves to grow our business, receive and be open to love, create a deeper level of intimacy in all areas of our life, we become more courageous. The more bold action we take the more comfortable we become in our own skin. Being comfortable in who you are allows you to experience life from a different perspective.
The power of focus has taught me to completely up-level my life and business. In order to meet my goals and keep my creative juices flowing, I have learned to focus my time and attention on only the activities that will bring the desired results. This means if you want to have more fun, grow your business, lose weight, or improve your relationship with yourself, but find yourself distracted (wasting an outrageous amount of hours on Facebook, for example), then it’s time to bring the power of focus into your life.
I have learned an important lesson when it comes to achieving goals and creating better results in my life: The power of focus is the secret of success. This means bringing your attention to your center, concentrating on one thing intently in order to gain clarity. When you teach yourself to focus on one goal or opportunity at a time not only will you be much more productive, you’ll feel like a million bucks and will also go more deeply into your present goal. You will bring forth your own inner wisdom and insight.
Distraction blocks creativeness and your inner greatness from emerging. It’s hard to focus or even complete what you set out to do when you are highly distracted.
Answer the questions below with Yes or No.
- Do you generate so many new ideas that you never implement, or don’t finish one idea to completion?
- At the end of the day you feel as though you haven’t accomplished anything meaningful towards your most heart felt goals?
- Does your website or brochure describe so many services that it confuses your potential clients?
- Do often wonder where all the time has gone?
We are all creative beings and it makes complete sense for us to want to pursue many paths at once. However, when we expend our energy in too many directions it weakens the power of focus. Is there a project, goal or opportunity that is in need of your devoted attention?
This week assignment:
- List out your top three priorities. (Example: excellent self care, writing, marketing my business, etc.).
- Preplan your schedule with your priorities. Block out power focus time to focus only these three priorities. This means you may decide to shut your phone and computer off while working on you top priorities. You may want to go to bed earlier to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to practice the power of focus in your life and business daily.
- Write on a colored index card, “I am so grateful for the power of focus. I focus my attention only on the activities that will bring me my desired results” and post it where you will see it. If you get swayed toward somethings else (which will easily happen), you can get right back on track.
Do yourself a huge favor and honor your goals and desire for creating better results in your life. Apply the power of focus starting today. Don’t wait until tomorrow or it won’t happen. Your life is now, and it should be enjoyed. Distraction is such an energy drain and creates a big “bummer” vibe. The truth is feeling more energetic, alive, confident and creating sustainable success comes from the the ability to stay focused on what you truly desire.
I’d love to hear how you will apply the “Power of Focus” in your life or business. Post a comment here on my blog, and answer this question: “This week I’ll focus my attention on…”
