The Power of Focus
October 4, 2011 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
The power of focus with commitment and consistency creates momentum; and momentum creates more momentum.
The actions we take in life not only bring success but also teaches us new ways of being in the world. For example, if we are expanding ourselves to grow our business, receive and be open to love, create a deeper level of intimacy in all areas of our life, we become more courageous. The more bold action we take the more comfortable we become in our own skin. Being comfortable in who you are allows you to experience life from a different perspective.
The power of focus has taught me to completely up-level my life and business. In order to meet my goals and keep my creative juices flowing, I have learned to focus my time and attention on only the activities that will bring the desired results. This means if you want to have more fun, grow your business, lose weight, or improve your relationship with yourself, but find yourself distracted (wasting an outrageous amount of hours on Facebook, for example), then it’s time to bring the power of focus into your life.
I have learned an important lesson when it comes to achieving goals and creating better results in my life: The power of focus is the secret of success. This means bringing your attention to your center, concentrating on one thing intently in order to gain clarity. When you teach yourself to focus on one goal or opportunity at a time not only will you be much more productive, you’ll feel like a million bucks and will also go more deeply into your present goal. You will bring forth your own inner wisdom and insight.
Distraction blocks creativeness and your inner greatness from emerging. It’s hard to focus or even complete what you set out to do when you are highly distracted.
Answer the questions below with Yes or No.
- Do you generate so many new ideas that you never implement, or don’t finish one idea to completion?
- At the end of the day you feel as though you haven’t accomplished anything meaningful towards your most heart felt goals?
- Does your website or brochure describe so many services that it confuses your potential clients?
- Do often wonder where all the time has gone?
We are all creative beings and it makes complete sense for us to want to pursue many paths at once. However, when we expend our energy in too many directions it weakens the power of focus. Is there a project, goal or opportunity that is in need of your devoted attention?
This week assignment:
- List out your top three priorities. (Example: excellent self care, writing, marketing my business, etc.).
- Preplan your schedule with your priorities. Block out power focus time to focus only these three priorities. This means you may decide to shut your phone and computer off while working on you top priorities. You may want to go to bed earlier to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to practice the power of focus in your life and business daily.
- Write on a colored index card, “I am so grateful for the power of focus. I focus my attention only on the activities that will bring me my desired results” and post it where you will see it. If you get swayed toward somethings else (which will easily happen), you can get right back on track.
Do yourself a huge favor and honor your goals and desire for creating better results in your life. Apply the power of focus starting today. Don’t wait until tomorrow or it won’t happen. Your life is now, and it should be enjoyed. Distraction is such an energy drain and creates a big “bummer” vibe. The truth is feeling more energetic, alive, confident and creating sustainable success comes from the the ability to stay focused on what you truly desire.
I’d love to hear how you will apply the “Power of Focus” in your life or business. Post a comment here on my blog, and answer this question: “This week I’ll focus my attention on…”
3 Ways to Get Some Feel Good in Your Life
September 27, 2011 by Karen Fagan · 3 Comments
My life is so full and rich. I live every moment with love and gratitude in my heart. Now, I haven’t always been like this. My authentic story is that I spent a majority of my life feeling less than great. Sure, from time to time I’d feel awesome. But it would only last a short while, and would eventually lead me back to being in a funk. Needless to say, it was a less-than-desirable way to live.
I struggled through this emotional rollercoaster, never understanding what the problem was or why I couldn’t find a way to simply be happy. Then, one day it hit me. I had been living in this place of “not feeling good” simply because it was familiar to me. I knew how to “not feel good” so well that in a sense, it had become comfortable. My realization that I no longer wanted to be comfortable with feeling bad led to an empowering epiphany: Live bad, feel bad. Live good, feel good! Finally, I understood that I could choose to feel good. It was in my power to take action to make myself feel better; and, that’s just what I did.
I recognized that I had been living badly. I didn’t take care of myself the way I should and I didn’t offer myself love and kindness. When I realized all of this, I made a decision. I made, “Live good, feel good!” my mantra for life. In order to start living good and feeling good, I created a Feel Good Formula for my life. I taught myself how to live good so I could feel good, and make that my new familiar place. Your Feel Good Formula is unique to you. It is composed of the “live good” elements that empower you and support you in feeling good all the time. For example, my Feel Good Formula is Self-love + Exercise + Clean Nutrition = Feel Good.
The secret is, when you feel good, you’re happy! It’s a great place to be. The happier you are, the more you have to give to your family, friends, and business. When you feel good, your entire life changes for the BEST. Find your Feel Good Formula and live by it. The elements in the formula will reflect the things that YOU need to feel good and the results will astonish you. Let’s find out what your Feel Good Formula is!
Here are tips for creating your own Feel Good Formula:
- Make a list of all the things that make you feel good. List things that fuel your mind, your soul and creative energy. Think of “live good” things that make your energy level come alive, that make you feel GOOD. Write down as many as you can think of.Here are some examples:
• Journaling
• Eating nutritious food
• Exercise
• Mediation
• A quiet cup of tea
• Kissing and making love
• Alone time
• Connecting with others - Take your list and prioritize the elements. What are the things that energize you the most, inspire you to achieve, and really get your Feel Good mojo going? Take your top two or three and fill them into the format: (Blank) + (Blank) = Feel Good.
- Live your formula every day.
That’s it. Three easy steps! Once you have your Feel Good Formula, write it on your vision board, put a Post-It on your fridge, leave yourself a voice mail . . . do whatever it takes to learn and LIVE your Feel Good Formula. No matter what your formula is – “Yoga + Journaling = Feel Good” or “Travel + Hugging + Long Walks = Feel Good” – live it every day. As I said, the components of your formula are completely up to you. Just make sure that you choose elements that are based in self-love and well being. For me eating nutritious foods and taking the time to journal are the things that make my soul soar. What are the things that inspire you? What actions can you take to find your self-love?
Find your Feel Good Formula. Access it and apply it to your life every day! You’ll experience wonderful growth and you’ll find that feeling good is a lot easier than feeling bad!
How to Rock Your Life Out Authentically
September 6, 2011 by Karen Fagen · 3 Comments
Taking the time to get to know your wants and desires can take many women years and years. Do you have difficulty allowing yourself to become your true self? Programs like my Rock Your Body, Soul and Finances Program really allow you to stretch yourself to your limits, find your dreams and desires to become a strong and beautiful woman. By becoming this woman that is hiding inside of you, you can free your body, mind and spirit and get the control back into your life that has been hidden or is missing. By simply opening yourself up to the process you are allowing yourself to be free of the ties that bind and hold you back. Let’s get out from behind the rock, open up and be who you are meant to be!
There was a time in my life I was really disconnected to my own self. I didn’t even know what I liked, what pleased me, not to mention, what I wanted to do with my precious life. But the one thing I did know, I was not living the life I desired. I felt this in my soul. It’s not something I had to know – it was a feeling deep down inside me.
Once I figured out who I was as a woman, I was so afraid to reveal this to the world. I was afraid to dress the way I truly wanted, even as far as being afraid to wear too big of earrings in case people talked about me. I was afraid to tell people that, once, I really wanted to take my own life. I was afraid to eat super healthy food in front of people who weren’t eating the same way or who were unhealthy themselves. I thought people will think I am crazy; too much – too demanding – too into living a higher quality life.
So, I just kept myself a very small version of me in hopes I wouldn’t rock the boat. In order to not get people mad, I kept myself safe and small so others would like me and wouldn’t judge me for living a happy and healthy life.
Has something like this ever happened to you?
Many of my private clients used to be scared silly to express who they are as a woman and what their place is in this world. They stay quiet; stay in the wrong place in their lives or careers; carry extra weight and have depleted energy and bank accounts. Sound familiar?
Take an honest look at what your life is right now. When it comes to your body, your relationships, your personal life, your career – Are you a woman who is rocking it authentically, or are you hiding behind the rock? Playing small, playing safe and hiding behind a rock – doesn’t work EVER! I know!!
I lived behind the rock for a long time. Why? Because nothing was ever allowed to feel good … I never allowed myself the pleasure of a job well done; the pleasure of living a good and healthy life; of having quality relationships. Living behind the rock keeps you completely out of alignment with who you really are; who you are meant to be and it will never bring you any closer to your heart desires.
How do you step into who you really are as a women and be who you are meant to be?
Take a look at this list and see what you can change and start working on today.
Women Who Rock Out Life Authentically …
1. Never apologizes for who she is, what she wears, what she desires and for what she does or what she doesn’t like.
2. Says what she means even if it pisses people off.
3. Lives her life with compassion but doesn’t sacrifice her happiness for others.
4. Has very clear boundaries
5. Is very clear with when she says YES and when she says NO
6. Lives free from guilt, self-criticism, and gossip
7. Asks for what she needs – without hesitation.
8. Brings her best self forward even when she doesn’t feel like it.
9. Knows that if she is at a restaurant and her meal comes not to her standard, she can graciously ask for it to be returned, corrected or ask for something else – without feeling like she’s been needy or a b%$#@.
10. Knows how to please herself and knows how to ask others to please her.
11. Is surrounded by friends that support and challenge her to be her best.
12. Wears larger than life earrings when she feels like (My private clients did this – it felt so good to her to wear what she truly desired)
13. Rests and replenishes because she craves it.
14. Makes decisions without the need to justify them.
15. Knows when she indulges in spa treatments or shopping, she doesn’t have to hide it from her loved ones.
16. Spends quality time with her children and loved ones, free from distraction.
17. Thrives on contribution.
18. Knows exactly when she needs rest.
19. Flosses her teeth, feeds her body with high quality food.
20. Seeks all things wonderful.
21. Doesn’t waste time in drama and chaos
22. Has decided to no longer waste time with body image issue; rather set her life up to love her body and support it.
23. Invests in herself and life without hesitation or guilt.
24. Continuously adds more color in to her life.
25. Allows herself to connect to her sensual energy as women.
26. Lives in love not in fear.
27. No longer pretends everything is o.k. when it’s not. She stopped pretending and telling herself it will get better. She finally gives herself the gift of a powerful coach.
28. Allows dreams; she is curious; she desires the best for herself, family, animals and community
So tell me… how will you authentically start Rocking Your Life Out? Start today by posting your comments on how you will start. I would love to hear them!! Together we can do this!
Own Your Irresistibility!
August 23, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
One very sure way to feel amazing and create a life you love is to Own Your Irresistibility! Claiming your irresistibility is the key to fulfilling your potential as a woman and human being. Irresistibility is freedom to the soul!
You ARE meant to feel amazing and make an impact in this world.
The world is in desperate need of irresistible women: women who are willing to be bold, fully alive, enthusiastic, and expressive – regardless of the circumstance. Women who are not afraid to tell their truth and use their voice for what they believe. Women that honor their dreams, desires, bodies – and who are courageous and contribute their ideas.
Do You Wonder If You Are Irresistible?
Your irresistibility isn’t something you have to go out and get. It’s already inside of you waiting to come FULLY ALIVE.
I want to share the key to claiming your irresistibility. Your ability to fully own your irresistibility lies in the Present Moment. That is it.
When you are fully present, you have complete access to your highest self: the most creative, resourceful, brilliant, and gorgeous part of you. What is more irresistible than this? Nothing.
Being present means you stop going on mental vacations. Being present means being free from distraction, drama, and instead, releasing all negative self-image and chaos.
When you are present in the moment, you stop thinking you aren’t good enough or don’t have enough. Rather, you fully and actively engage your mind, body and soul within whatever it is you are doing in that present moment. You choose to see yourself as brilliant and beautiful – no matter what has happened in the past!
You release those thoughts about the past that keep you captive and keep you obsessively worrying about your future. You bring your focus into the here and now.
Please bring your undivided attention to this moment and fully absorb what I am about to share with you. Emerge yourself in this golden morsel of wisdom.
The world needs you.
Your irresistibility is the greatest gift you can choose for yourself and share with the world. When you step into all that makes you irresistible – you feel amazing and your decision, choices and actions are much more empowered – than when you are not owing it.
Your irresistibility is feeling from within – in the present moment…here and now…FREE of mental chatter. Full of self-love and positive self-talk.
You have a very powerful mind and maybe you are thinking, “Who am I – to do what I really want to do?”
Please hear this: You are not your thoughts. However, you are the magnificent one behind them. You are more than enough: wise, glorious, and very capable of doing that which your heart yearns to do.
You are perfect in this very present moment. No other moment matters.
You deserve to live in the biggest and boldest version of you.
Irresistibility is a expansive feeling within your soul and body – a sensation and taste of succulence. Complete freedom of judgement or self-criticism.
There is nothing else you need – except to fully step into your personal power and embrace all your unique talents…Free of self-doubt.
When you do this, you will find yourself completely comfortable in your own skin, simply irresistible to others, connected to your abundance, surrounded by amazing people, expanding your career and business – and opportunities will flow in like you wouldn’t believe!
Irresistibility Action Challenge:
1. Name three things you really appreciate about you.
2. List three ways you are already Irresistible.
3. Bring your awareness to the present moment of acknowledging these things you just wrote about you – and fully breathe it in.
Do you feel yourself lighten up? Most of us take ourselves too seriously, not seeing who we really are and what we are fully capable.
Remember, a very sure way to create a life you love is to Own Your Irresistibility! Claiming your irresistibility is the key to fulfilling your potential as a woman and human being.
You ARE meant to make an impact in this world.
The world is in desperate need of irresistible women: women who are willing to be bold, fully alive, enthusiastic, and expressive – regardless of the circumstances. Women who are not afraid to tell their truth and use their voice for what they believe. Women that honor their dreams and desires, and that are courageous and contribute their ideas.
Stop Wondering If You Are Irresistible – and OWN That You ARE!
Surrender to your inner greatness and be present to fully accepting it. Let go of resistance it never-ever serves your best.
I would love to hear your answers to this week’s Irresistibility Action Challenge.
Top 7 Things That Hold Women Back From Taking The Big Leap
August 16, 2011 by Karen Fagan · 1 Comment
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
1. Indecision:
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
2. Procrastination:
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
4. Worry;
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
5. Fear:
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
16 Powerful Ways to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
August 9, 2011 by Karen Fagen · 2 Comments
I have coached hundreds of women over the years that have struggled – or are currently struggling and in pain with body image issues – feeling uncomfortable in their body. The truth is, they are not living the life they really want to live. It’s really holding them back from living a life with passion blocking them from going after what they want and keeping it!
I completely feel their pain. I really understand it, as I hid for many years behind my body image issues that left me feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin.
It took me a long, long time to fully understand that the struggle with my body image was keeping me from growing and expanding my entire life. I realized, in the process of struggling with my body image issues, I was just distracted in the un-truth and disconnected from my personal power.
If I had been connected to my truth and personal power, I would not have been critical of myself and my body at all. I would have honored myself and only noticed my beauty and wonder. I would have taken action like nobodys business to create my most yummy life.
Instead, I stayed in pain and missed opportunities for fun, love, and adventure.
My BIG turning point was when I realized my body images issues were nothing but a BIG DISTRACTION keeping me in hiding, preventing me from taking risk and living the life I really wanted to live. My body image issues thoughts, feelings, and actions –were creating the exact things I didn’t want in my life.
I deeply began to understand that obsessing about my body was a big decoy, because what I was really afraid of were the following:
- Not being enough
- Failing
- Not measuring up
- My ability to receive love
- My life change… and so on, and so on.
I NOW know how to live a life Free from struggling with body image issues, and I want to help you find this Freedom, too. Its very empowering and life changing to feel vibrant and amazing in your skin.
I learned a huge reason why we struggle. Struggling only keeps us in the same place. Struggling keeps us from expanding our life, health and business. Body image issues constrict us (at every level) and deplete and drain us, and keep us imprisoned. It blocks true intimacy with life, keeping us from savoring or experiencing it fully.
When we obsess about our body, it is a huge indication that something is out of alignment within our heart, mind and life. It shows us we are disconnected from our truth and personal power and are hiding from what we are really afraid of.
Many women I have worked with have struggled with their body image. It breaks my heart, because I know these women really desire a full and bodacious life with complete emotional and financial Fr*eedom.
Body image issues are a big distraction, keeping you confined from taking action and fully creating the life you want. Think about this for a moment – Who would you be and what would do if you werent struggling with body image issues? Would you be confident, happy, blissful, and really successful?
Here are ways to Free yourself and move away from body image issues and into full Fr*eedom. Where you love your body, have sweet love for you and allow much bigger success to come to you:
1. Your body is completely beautiful allow yourself to own this and stop denying it. It may not be where you want it to be, but you have the power to change this. For now, see your beauty.
2. Your body is brilliant and takes care of all things for you. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it and listen to it.
3. Create a list of all the wonderful things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often. Example: I love my legs because they take me great places and I get to see so many wonderful places with them.
4. Make peace and be Free. Your body is a beautiful vessel that carries your soul.
5. When you obsess about your body image, ask yourself this question: “What is it that I really want in my life that I do not yet have and why am I holding myself back?”
6. Visualize feeling amazing in your body and skin. Fully connect to it. This will instantly empower you to make better choices for you.
7. Re-focus on something that you really love about your body (you will find it if you are willing to look with love). If love seems too much – then start with what you like.
8. Reflect on all the things you really want to accomplish in your life and business. Realize that if you shift your focus away from negative thoughts about your body, you’ll move into beautiful thoughts of achieving your true dreams and desires. This shift will instantly make you feel better and motivate you to take action to go after what you want.
9. Make a list of the things you have put off due to body image issues, then go and take action on one item. Notice how fantastic this feels.
10. Write a Sacred Contract letter to your body with your commitment for honoring it starting today and include a thank you for all its wonder and beauty.
11. Rest and nourish your body like royalty. Rest, replenish, stretch, massage, hydrate, and moisturize it. Stop pushing so hard rest.
12. Exercise because it makes you feel better, connects you with your personal power, and makes your body healthy, strong, and shapely.
13. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body and connect to this feeling again. You will take inspired action from this feeling state.
14. Write a list of at least 10 positive things about yourself and add to this list daily.
15. When you find yourself being harsh on your body, get curious and find out what you’re really afraid of.
16. Please, release attachment to the way your body used to be. Meet yourself where you are today – so you can be Free of struggle and this will empower you to take the action you need for the changes you desire.
Doing even one of these action items will shift your energy, have you feeling much better in your own skin, connect you with your beautiful body, and move you into a place that allows more abundance in your life.
Pursuing Pleasure is a Game Changer
August 2, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Please listen closely. I want to let you in on a big and very well kept health secret. Ready? Here it is… Being a women in pursuit of pleasure—and the ability to allow yourself to experience and receive it—are essential in creating and maintaining ultimate health. Please read that again.
Now take a moment and answer this question: When was the last time you completely let go and allowed yourself pleasure?
I know you may not even remember, because it’s been that long. Often, women become disconnected from experiencing pleasure and have a hard time answering the above question. This is so common because most women have been so busy and overwhelmed keeping up with the demands of life – that they have completely forgotten what it is that actually brings them pleasure.
I so get this – as there was a time in my life in which I forgot what pleasure was and what it meant to my soul to give it pleasure – not just occasionally but on a daily basis. I didn’t even know how to go about experiencing pleasure (never mind asking for pleasure).
This is when I became a pleasure-seeking woman!
When I coach my private clients, I have found these top three beliefs to be what most often keep them from experiencing ultimate pleasure in their life:
- They think they’re too busy to experience pleasure.
The thought of pursuing pleasure as an important goal makes them feel guilty. (The term guilty pleasure comes to mind immediately, right?) Here is the deal: As women, we do not allow ourselves enough pleasure and it’s time to change the game.
2.They don’t feel confident or comfortable in their bodies, so they create more pain than pleasure.
3. They give more pleasure to others than to themselves.
Here’s the truth – pure and simple:
We are pleasure seekers from birth. Think about when you were a child – all your thoughts and energy were about play and fun, and that resulted in pleasure. Just watch children and you will witness the pleasure seeker in them. They are curious and follow their bliss.
When there is lack of pleasure in one’s life, there is lack of health and wealth as well. If there is lack of vibrancy in your health, body, and finances – it’s a wakeup call that you are not experiencing enough pleasure. Our health, our body, and our finances reach the ultimate level, when we are happily pursuing pleasurable activities, or thinking pleasurable thoughts.
Pleasure is wonderful. It feels amazing and it connects you to sensual energy, bringing out the woman you were born to be, and creating much more intimacy in your life. (Plus, it’s super sexy!)
No more denying yourself pleasure – deal?
1. Create Pleasure in Your Day-to-Day life (and do it like a pleasure seekers business!):
When our life is devoid of daily pleasure there is unhappiness – such as carrying extra weight on our body, wearing clothes that feel uncomfortable on our bodies, denying ourselves our true desires and the beauty we crave in our life, having struggles in relationships with ourselves and others. Not to mention that constant struggle with our bank accounts. Simply put, lack of daily pleasure results in having a lot of unsatisfying experiences.
The only way to achieve a feeling of optimal well-being within your body is by including regular doses of pleasure in your day-to-day life! Get clear about what brings you pleasure. It doesn’t have to be extravagant – it can be quite simple. Determine your pleasure and start adding this into your life now – from the moment you wake up each day. I teach my private clients how to do this and this one step alone is a big positive game changer!
2. Make a Commitment to Your Pleasure:
Understand that all sustainable pleasure requires, is the honoring of your happiness each day. Do this with joyful discipline, courage, and practice. If you want more happiness and enjoyment in your life, pleasure must become something you do – just like breathing. Have the discipline to catch yourself indulging in “negative pleasure” – and stop.
3. Name Your Bliss and Follow it:
To know sustainable pleasure, you must know what you desire – what fires you up! And you must also learn to trust those desires. I believe that our souls speak to us through our desires, and we discover our unique gifts and talents only by allowing ourselves to follow our bliss. After all, desire is what created our bodies in the first place. We were conceived with an orgasm – the entire universe started with a big bang (funny right? And true!)
Verbalizing and owning your specific desires and then manifesting them uplifts the entire planet. Let’s get as specific as possible. Make a list.
- Do you want to wear beautiful clothes?
Then first, you must let go of all that does not serve this. Get rid of the closet full of clothes that do not fit you. Make a committed decision to finally lose the weight you have been struggling with. Or, perhaps it’s about wearing the beautiful clothes already in your closet, and realizing that just wearing them adds pleasure to your life.
- Maybe you desire to be surrounded by beauty. Then you must first remove all that is un-beautiful for you. Don’t think about it – just do away with it.
- Do you desire new lingerie with beautiful lace? Then go get some! And wear it daily even if you are single.
- Do you crave morning calmness without chaos? Then wake up earlier with a cup of your favorite coffee and do some inspirational journaling, or move your body and allow yourself to indulge in your morning pleasure.
4. Schedule pleasure into your life with the same regularity as you schedule brushing your teeth.
Do this now! Don’t hesitate – grab your calendar and make pleasure your priority, or it will never happen. Schedule pleasure into your life with the same regularity as you would brush your teeth.
5. Pleasure Begins With Your Thoughts.
Pay Attention to Them:
Change the ones that are not pleasurable – the minute you notice them. (Remember, this is a discipline that takes practice.) Here’s why this is so important. Thought plus emotion equals belief. Your beliefs are what create your reality and your state of health. Beliefs, which are felt primarily in the heart, transform your world either positive or negatively.
Every thought you think creates a specific biochemical reaction in your body and also attracts specific opportunities and people into your life.
Give this pleasure thought a whirl.
Think this thought: “I am a highly desirable, sexy woman.”
How does that thought feel in your body? Alive, Sexy and Good right?
Now contrast how that feels with this thought: “I am unattractive, getting older and have so much weight to lose why bother. It’s too late for me to feel sexy or happy.”
Which thought connects you to more “feel good”? I’m sure you know, without a doubt, it’s the first.
Your power to live a pleasurable, prosperous life lies in your willingness to focus your attention on thoughts, people, places, and events that are joyful, fun, sexy, and uplifting.
6. Allow Yourself to Receive Pleasure and You’ll Have Even More.
One of the most meaningful and (pleasurable things) I have done in my life was learn how to receive and ask for pleasure.
Receive Pleasure:
What this means is if someone wants to give you a compliment, receive it rather than dismiss it. When you see something that is pleasurable, take a moment and enjoy every morsel of it. The more pleasure you spread around, the more you feel yourself. Allow yourself to invest in more pleasure – this may mean hiring a coach to help you achieve a pleasure in your body, life and finances or to indulge in wonderful bath salts, a regularly schedule massage, or a nice luxury meal.
Ask for Pleasure:
It is your divine right to be satisfied. If you are out to eat and you order a meal that is not pleasurable, do not feel guilty asking for a new dish that will bring you pleasure. If you have a massage and you want the masseuse to massage deeper then ask! If you want to experience better loving making and sensual orgasms, ask to be pleased – decide to stop denying this.
When you take care of yourself with pleasure, your influence creates abundance in your well being, body, relationships, and career – and even with money. The world is depending upon your happiness, your joy, your pleasure. You have nothing to lose by following your bliss except your suffering (so you see it is highly worth creating pleasure). And when your own suffering decreases, your pleasure increases. You will probably lose a few extra pounds too and will display a new radiant health and well-being to the world!
6 Tips to Confidence and Calm
July 26, 2011 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
6 Tips to Confidence and Calm
Part of being a confident, strong, successful woman is living from a place of calm and fully connecting to your inner rhythm. Doing away with drama, chaos, worry, self-criticism and such behaviors will allow you to instantly feel a sense of calm in your life.
Being free from everything that is not authentic to you will give you a sense of calm so you can get clear and take action on the things you’ve been secretly dreaming about.
1. Confident women have no interest in interpreting the actions of others (big energy zapper).
Let go of the need to worry, especially about what others think or meant when they did this or said that. Release the need to ruminate on what happened, what you did or didn’t say or what others did or didn’t do. Completely release worrying from your life and about what others think. Worry doesn’t bring happiness.
The truth of the matter is we have no idea of and we have no control over what others think. When we spend time interpreting the actions of others, it depletes us and distracts us from our life; these distractions usually leads to self-sabotaging behaviors. Let go today of the habit of interpreting others’ actions and put this energy into living out your desires and creating the most meaningful life.
Make a sacred commitment today to free yourself for good from analyzing the actions of others. Replace this energy with dreaming BIG – you will instantly feel better!
2. Confident women choose a life free from worry.
Worrying about the things from the past, future and things we can’t control, never provides a helpful solution or contributes productively to our goals and dreams. Worry is a big distraction, holding us back and keeping us from taking consciousness and meaningful action in our lives.
Make a list of all the things you worry about on a daily basis and replace this worry with something that positively and powerfully fills your soul instead. You will feel so much better and feel more alive.
3. Confident women enjoy every moment in life – even the difficult ones.
Confident women know how to savor every morsel of life. They believe themselves to be strong, resourceful and creative, even in when things become challenging. They know that through challenge, there is growth.
Allow your self to move in the flow of things and let go of resistance. This is key even when things are most challenging. Staying connected to your good flowing energy, even in the most challenging moments in life, means looking for positive and creative solutions. You must let go of critical or negative thoughts so you are able to find the perfect opportunity in the challenging moment.
4. Confident women feel connected to themselves, others and nature.
The more you love yourself and the more connected you feel to yourself and with others, the more you give and receive.
Spend time each day whether it’ s journaling, taking a walk in nature, meditating or drinking a cup of tea, in quiet and begin to connect with yourself again. Dig deep into your soul and connect with you dreams and desires. Get to know yourself well, so you can begin to create the life you want and share your best self with the people in your world.
5. A confident woman smiles with her mouth, heart and eyes.
Your eyes are the pathway to your heart and soul – smile with them. Really practice this right now go to the mirror and smile at yourself with your eyes. Smiling brings feel-good energy and is very contagious. Smiling is a reflection of inner happiness and is a gift you can share with the world wherever you are.
6. Confident women act spontaneously and are not paralyzed by fear.
Please don’t let fear from the past, or fear of what could happen, stop you from being authentic and real right now. The past is the past, and we all have things from the past we would rather forget. The future hasn’t happened so fearing what could happen really isn’t the best way to engage in your life. If you allow yourself to give your power to the past or the future, this will hold you back. Allow your self to learn and grow, so you move on from the past and live in the present.
5 Things NOT to DO – EVER!
July 5, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
1. Avoid Money
Money loves your attention and understanding. The more attention and understanding you give to your money, the 
more you have of it – it’s that simple.
Money does not have power over us. It only has power over us when we relinquish our power to it.
Every time you avoid looking at your bank account, avoid opening your bills, keeping them instead in a pile, or tossing them into the trash unopened, you spend more money than what you actually have – due to avoiding your reality. Each time you do this, you are choosing to continue on the path to more struggles with money, instead of creating your abundance. There is no way to avoid this truth – you must take new action if you are to bring more money in.
Every single time you avoid money, you demonstrate to the universe that you believe in lack. You are demonstrating that you cannot handle more money, because you struggle to handle the money you have now. This avoidance is blocking the flow of money into your life.
The amount of money in your life today is a true reflection about what you believe you can or cannot have – that is it.
You deserve to give your attention and understanding to money. Choose to honor yourself right now and look at your money today. Write your expenses and income out on paper, look at your banking statements on line to see where all your money is going to and get clear about what you need to change within so you can create and have more money in your life.
2. Settle for LESS – In any area of your life.
“Suffer not one exception” -unknown
Often we settle for less and don’t even realize we are doing it. I want you to really think about this. Think about how it applies to your life, and decide to move yourself – today – to get clear about where you are settling for far less than you deserve in your life.
Are you in a relationship that brings you down, rather than bringing out the best in you?
Are you in a marriage that you are settling for because you are afraid that you can’t survive on your own, financially?
- Do you believe that you can’t lose weight, or create ultimate health in your life?
- Are you unhappy in your current career?
- Do your children show you disrespect?
- Do you have chaos and clutter in your life?
- Do you choose to do nothing to change your life, instead of empowering yourself, and getting the necessary support to transform your life?
- Do you tell yourself you want to decorate your house, travel, take a dance class – but then never do?
We often settle for putting our needs on the back burner, for less money than we deserve, for sex that is unfulfilling, for clothes that make us feel uncomfortable, for broken and unrepaired things, and for waiting until tomorrow to do what we need to do today. We even settle for feeling like we are flawed, or less than acceptable in some capacity.
3. Be Uncomfortable in Your Body
You deserve to feel amazing in your own skin I promise you there is nothing that tastes, or feels better than this!
We can be uncomfortable in our bodies for a number of different reasons. The most common, is when we don’t speak out in truth. Or perhaps, for you it is when you are not living life on purpose, lacking passion, unwilling or unable to ask for needs or wants. Maybe you are saying yes when you mean no, carrying extra body fat and feeling uncomfortable in your clothes. Let’s face it, when we are uncomfortable in our bodies, we don’t take risks. We hold back from doing the exact thing we so desire to do, because we unconsciously hold back from fully revealing ourselves to others, thereby keeping people at a distance.
When you embrace and address why you feel uncomfortable in your body – you can than empower yourself to change it by getting the support you need, plan in place and the
Where do you feel uncomfortable in your body and why?
4. Anything Less than Impeccable Self-Care – Will never do.
When you create impeccable self care in your life not only to you feel amazing but you have so much more to give to the people you love your career and you have the energy to do the things you really want to do.
- Self-care is about honor yourself and your needs.
- Do you take at least 30 minutes for yourself each day?
- Do you feed yourself and your soul with fuel, love, happiness and nourishment?
- Do you brush your teeth before you go to bed and have a bedtime ritual?
- Do you have positive self-talk or is your talk filled with self-punishment?
- Do you prioritize your work schedule? Do you have a start and end time, or do you work around the clock never really creating or completing anything – yet always feeling like you are working.
5. Allow Distraction and Procrastination
Distraction and procrastination keep us living in a very small version of who we were born to be. It often leaves us in indecision mode – avoiding the decision we know we need to make…the exact decision that would change our life in a positive way. What is important to know is that if your life is filled with distractions and you know you are procrastinating, you have the free choice to decide to do something about this – unless of course you like living your life here.
I know you don’t – and I also want you to know that you have the power to change your life, get what you want (and keep it)!
Most distraction and procrastination is a result of not having a clear plan, not believing you can, and not moving beyond the blocks that keep you stuck here.
Do yourself a big loving favor and please stop:
- Focusing on what everyone else is doing, or not doing.
- Eating sugar, or foods that serve your body – because of fear.
- Thinking, even for one second, that you can’t do something.
- Hiding behind your computer.
- Hiding out in your life.
7 Ways to Sky Rocket Your Energy
June 28, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
1. Understand Your Body’s Natural Energy Flow
Understand your natural ebb and flow of energy throughout the day so that you feel a sense of peace, calm and overall 
‘feel good’. Doing this, and aligning life with your natural energy flow, will increase your energy level on a daily basis.
Perhaps you are full of energy first thing in the morning, or maybe your energy level increases in the evening. Knowing when your energy peaks is helpful when planning to do the things that you normally resist, or put off doing. Scheduling these when your energy is higher is going to make a huge difference in your productivity, happiness, self-confidence, and joy.
Once you understand your natural, daily energy rhythm, you can work on the important tasks during your peak hours, and avoid “trying” to do these tasks when your energy level is too low.
2. Organize Your World
A scattered world leads to a scattered life – which depletes our energy level and only leaves us feeling less than productive. Let’s face it, when our lives our scattered we end up procrastinating and turning our back on the very things that need our attention.
You can organize your world in big and small ways. A small way would be to create an intentional plan for how you will use your time each day. Create this plan first thing in the a.m. A big way to organize your world may be to rid the clutter that drives you nuts! This could be achieved by scheduling time on your calendar to finally organize your home or office.
You deserve to live a non-chaotic life. There is nothing that feels better, or raises your energy level quicker, than the organization of your world. When your world is organized, you don’t have to expend mental energy to keep track of “a million things”.
Make a decision now about what top three things you need to organize in your life, and then complete the process, so you can have more energy each day.
3. Move Gym Time to the Morning
I know, firsthand, the power of exercising first thing in the a.m. And, I have committed to doing this, not only for the amazing energy it gives me, but because I give more to everything I do and to the people in my world, family friends, clients, when I work out early. This one step will transform your entire life, if you do it and do it with consistency.
A lot of people go to the gym after work, and this is often because it is something they dread and end up blowing off. Instead, allow yourself to experience all of the amazing benefits of exercising first thing in the morning. This is YOUR time. A time for you and you ONLY. When you start your day off like this – your energy will soar!
Exercising in the morning gives energy that lasts all day – PLUS it increases your level of self-confidence and overall ‘feel good’ energy.
Sure, you will have to wake up an hour or two earlier, but I guarantee you are so worth it! After you create this new morning ritual, it will simply become something you just do –
like brushing your teeth.
4. Do Away With Low-Value “Things & Tasks”
To live a Bold, Brilliant and Rich Life (and get these kinds of results in your life) you must do away with anything that is low in value. Move your energy, thoughts, and actions toward the things that bring the highest level of value to your life.
This means doing away with participating in, or spending time on, anything of a lower nature. How do you know if it is of lower nature? The answer is, you will feel it in your body. Your energy level will be low. It’s that simple!
Some steps to eliminating low value things in your life can include:
- Stop eating low value foods that you know do not serve your body, but rather deplete your energy
- Refuse to participate in someone else’s drama. Remember, even listening to it can drain your energy.
- Do away with low value tasks. Be fully aware of which activities are bringing you the highest return in your life – and spend more time doing them.
If you have a ridiculously long to-do-list that is simply impossible to get all the way through, and you feel tired just thinking about doing those items, here are some tips that are sure to turn your to-do-list (and energy level) around:(I highly recommend that you look at each item on your to-do-list and ask yourself the following questions):
- 1. Is doing and completing this item going to add to the value of my life?
If you answered YES, go to question number two. If you answered NO, free yourself of the struggle by knocking it off your list right now! Just be done with it.
- 2. If doing this item is going to add value to your life, ask yourself this: Are you the only person that can complete the task, or is there someone you can delegate this task to?
(When we delegate we free our energy both mentally and physically so we can put into more of the things we love.)
Next, add the following to your to-do-list.
5. Schedule a massage & take an Epsom’s Salts bath.
Add this to your to-do-list. A to-do-list should always include personal care items, like a massage and special bath time. Both will help you let go of any stress you are holding in your body that is zapping your energy. It is a wonderful way to nurture your body, mind, and soul and regain an increased sense of well- being and clarity.
Decide to make getting massage a normal part of your life so you do this regularly. It may seem like it’s too much of a luxury at first, and you will probably tell yourself why you “shouldn’t “ do it, but once you allow yourself to experience all of the wonderful benefits a massage offers, such as more energy in your life, you will want to do it regularly.
Adding a weekly Epsom’s salts bath to your routine is an inexpensive luxury! I do this at night – and I can tell you that the nights I do this are the nights I sleep so well, and awake so refreshed the next morning.
This is what happens when we take impeccable care of ourselves! We have more energy, feel more gratitude and abundance, and have so much more to offer the world.
6. Empowerment Dressing is incredibly energizing.
When we put beautiful clothes on our bodies we feel better, and our energy levels go up! You don’t need to spend a fortune on clothes to look and feel like a million, either.
If you are in a rut – wearing a lot black – begin to throw some brighter colors into your outfits – this is a natural energy lifter.
Dressing up naturally makes you feel better about yourself. It has a magical way of giving you more energy and connects you to your feminine sensual energy.
When you wear clothes that are so/so, you end up feeling so/ so, and honestly your self-confidence and what you accomplish ends up being so/so, as well. Make a commitment to wear clothes that uplift you and make you feel good.
–Put on some make up. A little lip-gloss can make the difference between feeling like a rock star and feeling like a frump. Putting on body lotion that invigorates your senses and soul will stir your internal energy. Do this and you will be amazed at how empowered you feel.
7. Plan to fuel your body with high quality fuel foods.
I often talk to women who tell me that their energy level is so low. Sure enough, they come to find out that their nutritional intake is way too low and they are not drinking enough water. They just aren’t eating enough to fuel their body!
Consistently eating 5-7 small meals of lean protein, good carbohydrates, vegetables, fruit, and good fats will make a huge impact on your energy level and physique.
Decide today to eliminate all food that is of a lower nature and depletes your energy. Instead, choose foods of a higher quality to fuel your energy. If you do this, you are going to feel so amazing and empowered. There is nothing that tastes better than eating well!
