Free Yourself from Self-Imposed Limits
June 8, 2010 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
Self-imposed limits are a result of our own thinking based on past conditioning. They are boundaries we’ve set in our minds about what we can’t be, do, have or achieve. These limits are not real; they only exist in our minds.
If you’re frustrated with boundaries and feel ready to expand your life, I encourage you to identify your self-imposed limits. Once you know what they are, you can free yourself from restrictions.
Self-imposed limits feel constricting and depressing. They often sound like the following
- I should stay in this career since this is what I earned my degree for.
- I am too old to even try now.
- I shouldn’t risk it; it could take too long and be too much work.
- I’ll never earn much money. No one in my family has ever made over $75,000 per year.
- I don’t have the time to “just do it.” I am too busy.
- I can’t publish a book; I am not a professional writer.
Self-imposed limits are false restrictions we place upon ourselves that stop us from taking further action and turning our dreams into reality. Imagine fully believing in your true potential rather than holding back because of self-imposed limitations.
This week, prepare yourself to jump out of the box and start creating your life from a much bigger space.
1. Make a List of the Limits You Place on Yourself.
Once you bring your awareness to the boundaries you’ve built, you can decide to make different decisions that align with what you really want. You no longer need to tell yourself “I can’t.”
Become inspired and open to all possibilities for recreating your life.
2. Change Your Beliefs.
Ask yourself whether you are truly limited in the way you previously thought. Why would you believe you are limited? What could you do without these limits?
Replace your negative, false beliefs with true and empowering ones.
3. Improve Your Self-Image.
Start seeing yourself as the highest and best version of you. Ask your highest self for daily guidance and listen to your intuition. By listening to your highest self, you start to develop a higher level of confidence.
What would your best and most confident self say to those limitations?
4. Have a Positive Expectation.
Expect the best with complete certainty. When you free yourself of limitations, you create space to fully see and believe in all that you’re capable of. Positively expect amazing outcomes. When you let go of self-imposed limits, you naturally release worry and need for perfection. You become present in the moment.
You were born to succeed and that is the beautiful truth. Now, fully expect it with certainty.
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Empowerment Expert , and Master Certified Coach Karen Fagan publishes her “Live in Your Brilliance” weekly ezine. If you want special tips to live bold, brilliant and rich in your life and business, you can sign up for a FREE subscription to Live in Your Brilliance at www.karenfagan.com. Want to see more secret tips? see Karen’s blog at Karen http://www.karenfagan.com/blog/
Why Are You Settling?
May 27, 2010 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
I used to settle a lot. There were years when I’d accept so much less than I wanted because I just thought that’s the way life was. At other times, I didn’t even know exactly what it was I wanted; I just knew that whatever it was, it was missing. I knew I had a longing, I just didn’t know I had a choice.
I wasn’t empowered to make the decisions that would move me toward living my authentic life. I disconnected myself from my inner truth because what I found there scared me. At the time, it seemed easier to hide out in the relationship I was unsatisfied with and try to convince myself that my career was just fine. And, I suffered some major consequences. When you settle for less than you want and deserve, you are acting from a place of fear. What I learned from my experience is that in all things, we must act from a place of love.
When you choose to be driven by love, you will begin to believe that life can be exactly how you want it to be. When you choose to become conscious of your truth, you will realize that the power of choice is available to you.
Ask yourself, “Why are you settling?”
We influence our life’s experience through the choices we make. And I’m talking, all of the choices we make. If you think about it, there is no such thing as a small choice. Every decision we make — choosing to eat or not eat, to say or not say, to listen to your inner voice or not listen — has a consequence. Whether it’s short or long term, with good or less than desirable results, each choice has an effect. Our power and influence over our lives comes from our ability to make choices. When we settle, we lose sight of that power – knowing somewhere in our heart that our inner truth has been compromised.
Examples of settling for less:
- I guess this is as good as it gets.
- It doesn’t really matter to me if I get married or have children.
- As long as I have 6-8 clients, that’s better than nothing.
- I can do this by myself. I don’t need any support.
- It’s better to have these friends than no friends.
- I can live on $2000 a month, so that’ll be good enough.
- At least I have a job, even if it’s one I hate.
- I’ll never lose these last 20 pounds, so why even try?
Ignoring your inner truth inevitably leads to self-sabotaging behavior – overeating, procrastination, a lack of personal responsibility – and ultimately, pain. Feelings of anger, boredom, frustration, loneliness and hopelessness take over and lead to chaos in our lives. The only reason we deny ourselves our inner truth is because our conscious self is too frightened to take bold steps, so we make less than authentic choices.
Take a look at where you are settling for less. Is it in your career, your relationship, your well-being? Make a list of those areas and describe how you’re settling.
Examples:
- I don’t like the way my hair stylist does my hair, but I keep going back.
- I buy and eat cheap, un-nutritious food.
- I continue to work with clients who submit late payments.
Now, make a list of the consequences you have endured as the result of settling.
Examples:
- I never feel cute and I resent paying for a haircut I don’t like.
- My food isn’t providing the nutrients that my body needs for proper health.
- I can’t pay my bills on time.
Ask yourself again. Why are you settling? Usually, we settle out of fear. We fear that we won’t have enough, that we’re taking too big of a risk, or we’re better off staying put rather than taking a chance. Take a good look at the underlying fear that leads to you settling for less. Is that fear rational? Why are you allowing it to hold you back?
Honor Your Power of Choice
Every choice you make has the power to shift your life direction. Intuitively you know that you desire more. Choose to end the chaos created by settling for less and begin to get clear about what you authentically want in your life. Change can be very uncomfortable; it’s time to get comfortable with it. Now, if you’re ready to commit to continuous growth and expansion, pay attention to what I just told you. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Never once have I heard any woman regret making the decision to no longer settle in her life. In fact, the reaction is always the opposite. “Look at the new abundant path I’m on! I can’t believe I settled for so long!” Getting comfortable being uncomfortable will lead you to take action and create the life you want and deserve. Empower your inner truth and honor your power of choice.
Stop settling for less.
Is Your Self Image Hurting You?
May 20, 2010 by Karen Fagan · 3 Comments
Do you find that you’ve become caught up in a cyclical pattern of “unhealthy”? I don’t mean that in a biological or medical way. I’m talking about repeatedly finding yourself in bad relationships, personal chaos, financial woes, or business fiascoes. If you keep getting the same cruddy results in your life, I encourage you to check in with your self-image. I’d bet that it’s not very positive, and I am here to tell you that it is high time you assess and adjust your ego to create a bodaciously loving view of yourself. It’s truly the only way you are going to make a change for the better.
Your inner and outer self-image is your creation and it directly relates to your present experiences in life. How would you describe the way in which you see yourself? Are you confident and secure in your abilities or do you question yourself and have a belief that you’re somehow “less-than”? Whether you know it or not, your true self-image is broadcast to the Universe and the people around you, which determines the reactions and results you get in life. After all, who knows you better than you? If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else? Let’s check it out. Take the following Healthy Self-Image quiz and see what you truly believe about yourself. And, if you have a friend who could use a self-image boost of her own, please share it with her.
Answer the following questions:
- How do you view your appearance? (Beautiful, Okay, Fat, Ugly)
- What kind of personality do you have? (Rigid, Open, Fun-loving)
- How do you think others see you? (Crazy, Confident, In control)
- How do you see yourself? (Authentic, Hiding, Powerful)
- Do you believe that others like you? (Absolutely, Kind of, Not really)
- Do you like you? (Absolutely, Kind of, Not really)
If your answers are anything but confident and positive, you could benefit from a self perception make over. Here are three tips on how to take your confidence and self-assurance to a whole new level.
1. Take Charge of Your Mind
If you see yourself as unqualified, insignificant, unattractive, inferior, or inadequate, you are most likely co-creating a reality that doesn’t feel good and is not bringing you the results you want. The solution? Simple: Take charge of your mind. Stop letting your mind dictate negative thoughts and then watching yourself perform (or not) according to them. Your life is too important for you to let yourself be a spectator – or worse – a victim to your negative thinking.
The best way to determine how you feel about yourself is to stay connected to your emotional state on a daily basis. If your mind and thoughts are aligned, you will feel harmony about yourself. If you are not feeling harmonious, that is a true indication that your thoughts are out of alignment. Take ownership of your thoughts and create a different feeling state. Do it right now.
2. Decide to Accept Yourself
There is only one “YOU” in the Universe. That is the person who YOU are responsible for. Only you have the power to accept or reject yourself. Self-rejection is energy depleting and counterproductive. Bring awareness to the parts of yourself that you reject and fully embrace those areas. Fill up on self-love – this is your personal work. The only way to move forward to meeting your core desires is to accept who you are, as you are today, in this very moment. Understanding you and your authentic goals, deciding where you’re going – and how you’re going to get there – is up to YOU.
Take steps right now to accept yourself exactly as you are in this present moment.
- Determine a higher value for yourself.
- Decide exactly what you want from a place of higher self-image and confidence.
- Take action each day that improves your perception of yourself.
3. Take Action to Build Your Confidence
Filling your thoughts with negative self-talk or keeping your authentic self hidden are exactly the things that keep your confidence levels low and contribute to a poor self-image. As they say, “Can’t never could.” When you find yourself thinking, “I can’t,” or “I don’t know how,” take a moment to re-adjust those thoughts to, “I can learn,” and, “I am capable.”
Make peace with the mistakes in your past. Embrace them for what they were – valuable learning experiences that have taught you priceless lessons that will lead you to your greatest success. Free your mind to move beyond the past and take the steps and actions necessary to achieve your goals. When you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself which choice will build your confidence and boost your self-image. Then choose that one.
Only you have the power to believe and present the most positive, and self-assured YOU. Decide today to no longer allow negative thoughts to control your emotional wellbeing. Re-focus your thinking to positive, self-assured, confident thoughts and if you have to, fake it until you make it. The more effort you put into seeing the good and wonderful things about yourself, the easier it is. And the more those brilliant, fantastic parts of you will shine out to the Universe and the world.
