“It’s So Uncomfortable!”
September 18, 2012 by Karen Fagan · 3 Comments
I always tell my clients, “For change to happen you must be willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” And why do I tell them that? Because it is 100% true.
Now, for most people, we’ll do just about anything to not feel uncomfortable. We resist, push back, avoid, and procrastinate. We become moody, we sleep too much, eat too much, drink too much . . . the list just goes on and on. But what are these actions doing to service our growth and ourselves? Absolutely nothing.
Let’s face it: change is uncomfortable. Feeling comfortable comes from knowing what to expect, maintaining a status quo and staying within our same old boundaries. In order to make a change, we have to tear down those walls, climb beyond our self-imposed barriers and allow the Big Breakdown to happen.
The Big Breakdown is the uncomfortable period where the change starts to take place. It comes through painful thoughts like, “Who the heck are you to do that?” Systems go haywire, like computers crashing and dropped conference call recordings. At times there are physical manifestations in our bodies like headaches, heartaches, and bellyaches. We feel angry, frustrated and scared so we participate in actions like avoidance when we know, deep down, that it would serve us best to be facing our fears and discomfort head on.
And you know what? All this discomfort is a good thing! Just beyond the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough where you’ll find everything you want and need to grow and succeed. Isn’t this cool? Actually, everything we need and want is right under our noses; the Big Breakdown is the Universe’s way of getting us to step back and see it. Our initial reaction to the Big Breakdown is to shut it off and run away. I’ve been there and I totally get it. However, I’ve taught myself to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, knowing that right past the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough. . . and that’s where the magic happens.
Here are some tips to bust through your own Big Breakdown to reap the benefits of your Big Breakthrough!
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Learn to master this one and your progress will skyrocket, and you’ll experience ongoing growth and success. When it comes to accepting the changes in your life, feel your fear . . . and then release it. Once you release your negative, scary thoughts, you allow new opportunities to come into your life. The longer you avoid feeling your feelings, the longer it takes to eventually release them which only delays what you’re really looking for… The Big Breakthrough.Change is going to happen. And there’s one thing I know for sure: good things always come from change . . . even if we can’t see it right away. Learn to trust in the process. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable and get ready to fly!
- Create a “feel good” state of being.Your emotional state is a big key to what you are attracting to your life. If you want to attract more, you must release old paradigms and false beliefs about yourself. When we are confronted with change, our minds automatically think about what we’re giving up, not what we’re gaining. That mindset keeps us in a place of lack rather than moving us into a place of abundance.Create a “feel good” state of being to move into abundance and attract all that the Universe has to offer you. Instead of focusing on what you may not have right now, focus on what you want. Take a moment to visualize yourself as being enveloped in goodness and well-being. Close your eyes and breathe deeply while focusing on all that you want to attract to your life.Here’s a list to help you get started:
- Love
- Trust
- Faith
- Joy
- Passion
- Enthusiasm
- Contentment
Imagine that you have all of these things, and more. Allow yourself to believe in and expect positive results from the change in your life. Trust that what you really seek will appear.
Are You Willing?
Ask and answer the following questions for yourself:
- Are you willing to trade short-term discomfort for long-term success?
- How badly do you want your ideal business and delicious lifestyle?
- Are you willing to find another way when presented with a road-block?
Just because your bridge telephone line disconnects during your live conference call, you completely spill paint all over a great piece of your artwork, or your important meeting gets canceled, don’t take it as a sign that you’re no good at your chosen path, that you’re not meant to do it or that you’re doomed.
When things like this happen, remind yourself of your answers to the above questions. See these minor disruptions as opportunities to improve your systems. Perhaps you would benefit from delegating tasks, asking for help or simply taking a break. It’s all up to you! You get to determine what your Big Breakdown means and how you are going respond to it. Will you use it to become empowered or disempowered? (Hint: Pick empowered!)
Embrace the Big Breakdown to get to your Big Breakthrough, release resistance and allow the Universe to work its magic! I promise, it will be worth it!
I would love to hear from you – please share with us how you are getting comfortable with being uncomfortable by posting a comment here on my blog.
Top 7 Things That Hold Women Back From Taking The Big Leap
August 16, 2011 by Karen Fagan · 1 Comment
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
1. Indecision:
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
2. Procrastination:
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
4. Worry;
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
5. Fear:
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
