The Top 7 Things That Hold Women Back From Taking The Big Leap
May 29, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
1. Indecision:
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
2. Procrastination:
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
4. Worry;
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
5. Fear:
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
Your Truth Will Always Set You Free!
August 30, 2011 by Karen Fagan · 3 Comments
Afraid To Speak Your Truth?
One of the greatest ways I have seen women sabotage their life is by not listening to their inner truth. You see, it is really, really true that “the truth will always sets you free” even if, at first, it scares your panties right off you!
When you choose to honor your truth, you change your life in a powerful way. You honor your authentic-ness fully. When you speak your truth there is no more hiding out in a life that you really don’t want.
When you honor your truth, every word you speak and action you take only serves your big dreams and goals. The truth has a remarkable way of empowering us and instantly moving us to the next highest level in our life.
By listening to your truth you get profound clarity, increase your self-confidence, feel a whole lot better, and get a solid sense of what to do next. You become free to create the most amazing results in your life, relationships, well-being, and career.
So, how do you get connected to your truth, to listen to and honor it, and live as a BOLD TRUTHFUL WOMEN? Here are some special tips.
Make peace and tell yourself the truth. Stop elling yourself little white lies such as:
- “What you really want doesn’t really matter or could never even happen.”
- “It’s selfish to put your needs first.”
- “Your job is pretty good.”
- “It doesn’t make sense to leave your career and start your own business.”
- “You really want hot, passionate love but tell yourself you have no time for it or the relationship your in is better than none.”
Practice by listening to all your whisper of truth small and big.
Look in the mirror and tell your truth aloud. Write it on the mirror…all over it!
Tell yourself the truth when you exercise, draw, shop, get dressed, or feel uncertain & fearful.
Connect to a tribe of people who live by their truth.
Journal your truth and read it often.
Draw and color your truth on paper or even on a wall in your house.
Go Truth CRAZY!
Start to tell people your truth. (No, not your inner secrets) Start small like when you really don’t want to eat their food they offer you and say “no thank you” or when you just don’t want to do whatever it is they’re asking you. Honor your truth and speak it.
You may be saying, “Karen, I really don’t know how to connect with my truth. Where do I start?”
First, let go of looking everywhere for your truth. You already have it inside. It’s time to claim it! Begin to notice where you hold back. For example, when you want to say something and don’t, or when you want to go for it and don’t – why are you holding back? You most likely feel a negative sensation in your body. Your throat, heart, and stomach may hurt or feel tensed. Breathe into the restriction in your body. Then, ask yourself what do the restrictions have to tell you? Listen your truth will appear.
EMPOWER yourself today and let your truth be told!
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?
Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:
Empowerment Expert , and Master Certified Coach Karen Fagan publishes her “Live in Your Brilliance” weekly ezine. If you want special tips to live bold, brilliant and rich in your life and business, you can sign up for a FREE subscription to Live in Your Brilliance at www.karenfagan.com. Want to see more secret tips? see Karen’s blog at Karen http://www.karenfagan.com/blog/
Top 7 Things That Hold Women Back From Taking The Big Leap
August 16, 2011 by Karen Fagan · 1 Comment
Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but your stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all?
I have the honor of coaching some of the most amazing women on this planet. What I have realized is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, desire a really succulent life, have a really big vision (that often scares them right out of their panties), and have AMAZING ideas. However, these same women are almost always fearful, unsure and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!
All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in this lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help others by doing what they love. What is really interesting is when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her heart’s desire, she becomes aware that if she were living her desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom. Can you resonate with this?
If we have brilliant ideas and heart-felt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? I am giving you the Top 7 things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap: Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.
Here’s the deal: These 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not presently feel this way.
Below are the top 7 Things that Hold Women Back from Taking the Big Leap. Read through them to see where you may stopping yourself then commit to live your purpose FULL OUT NOW. If you need support, for heaven’s sake, just allow yourself to have it! The only person holding you back is you. What’s perfect about this is you can change it by doing the exact thing your soul keeps telling you to do. It’s the very thing you keep ignoring.
1. Indecision:
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and hardly change them, if at all, slowly. They have deep trust and feel confident they change course at any given time.
Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).
2. Procrastination:
Which we all know procrastination is putting off what needed to be done yesterday until tomorrow. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Get to understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge incongruency. It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire. Please stop fooling yourself that you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never happens. You have today to LIVE FULLY. Make it count!
3. Self Doubt:
Self doubt is a big cover up! It shows up in the form of feeling blah, making excuses or justifications for the reason why it won’t work out right now. It is disguised as envy, jealously, and criticizing yourself or others.
Waiting for the perfect time or perfect whatever (body size or right amount of money) to commit to something is really just you doubting your abilities.
If you are filled with self doubt, you need more clarity. You will also benefit with the support of another to champion you and help you develop the self confidence you need. When you end self doubt, you can move forward and take action on your dreams.
There is no need to doubt yourself. If your mind can conceive it, then you absolutely can achieve it!
4. Worry;
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and delight. This is achieved by letting go of worry and getting present with your self, your life and dreams.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?
5. Fear:
Fear is not real (period). It is an illusion created in the mind by the ego. The ego’s primary role is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small, but you were born to big.
6. Waiting – What the heck are you waiting for?
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? Get clear about this.
Most often – women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling more fire to any belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. When you decide and take action NOW it fuels fire to the belief that you have everything you need to rock your life and body!
7. Negative Body Image:
Last week I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle of her own body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a way that does not feel good. In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having more deeper intimacy, wonderful experiences, making more money – it just plain stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women have big fears but they understand what fear is and what it is not. They face their fear and do it anyway. They connect to self -love and value, belief, trust, and faith. Developing self confidence diminishes fear so you can move forward and create your life on your terms.
Please do yourself a big, big favor and commit to move beyond these 7 things that keep you stuck. Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money. If you don’t, you will be waiting a long, long time. Your time to shine is NOW!
Please share with me how you will allow yourself to shine by posting your comments here on my blog!
May 6, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
This Week’s Question:
Karen I have decisions to make and I am just sitting on them. I am afraid I will make the wrong decisions and therefore end up making no decision – at all. My life isn’t moving forward. I want to make better decisions for my life, career, bank account, and happiness – but I struggle. I think I am just afraid or maybe just unclear of what to do.
What can I do to get out of my ‘comfort zone’ and back into living life – the way I dream of doing? I’m afraid to move forward, but I don’t want to stay where I am now because I feel so unfulfilled.
Kathy, South Carolina
Karen’s Answer:
Kathy, I want you to fully see that you have the power within in you to transform your life, to know who you are and what you desire, and to know how to get it – NOW – through the incredible power of decision.
The only reason people do not make decisions is because of fear. Let’s get you connected to your heart so you can start to make quick decisions that will help you achieve what you truly desire. It’s time for you to get out of your comfort zone and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I know what it feels like to be in a constant place of indecision – it is exhausting at every level! We don’t make decisions when we spend all of our time and energy merely contemplating the thing – never making the decision, never facing the choices and finally choosing one. Not only that, but most of us often turn around and doubt our choice – causing even more indecision!
I know that you have a desire for more. I want you to believe that you can experience a greater level of happiness, success, and freedom in your life and business. I see that at some level, you are frustrated because you are feeling you are much more capable than what you are currently demonstrating to the world.
I get this! I have experienced – overcome this – and helped hundreds of women to do the same!
Today, I want to help you strengthen your ‘decision-making muscles’. The only way to created different results in your life and business is to make decisions in spite of fear. To make better decisions you must begin to make more of them, and make them with speed. The truth is you already know what decision is best for you, it’s just a matter of owning it and moving out of your comfort zone.
Fear is the only thing that stops us from making decisions. Rosa Parks is a great example of a woman who transformed and accessed her own power within. She created a huge movement in the world by making one powerful decision – to not give up her bus seat. She would not be denied! She did not let fear stop her. Instead, she decided to no longer tolerate the way she allowed others to define her or the position in life that she had accepted. As a result, her life and the lives of millions of others were changed forever!
A truly committed decision is a force that will change your life, as well as the lives of those around you. What are you denying yourself (and those you care about most) by not making a decision?
Making a powerful and real decision means cutting off any other possibility. It means you have decided that you will be denied no less than that which you desire.
It’s about Conscious Decision Making: This is where you decide what is best to focus on now – ensuring that you control and shape the outcome you desire. It’s not our circumstances that predicate our future – it’s our decisions. To create magnificent results in your life you must be consciously aware of how making decisions – or not making decisions will impact your future.
This is key: Don’t focus on the pain of possibly making a less than perfect decision. Your focus should never be on what could go wrong. Once you have made a certain decision, challenges or obstacles may arise. That’s a fact! You may even have to make another decision. But, instead of focusing on the potential problems (otherwise known as the fear of the “what ifs”) focus on your goal. Spend your time and energy focusing on what it is you want. Begin to connect pleasure with the making of a real decision toward a real goal – and not the mere possibility of pain that does not exist and, in fact, may never actually come to be.
If we were to think about this, about the pain of a decision, we would see that it always comes from the inaction. Not making the decision is always more painful – and pleasure always follows once we make a decision.
THIS WEEK: I encourage you to take out pen and paper and write your answers to the following questions:
- How does it strengthen my life to not make decisions and how does it strengthen my life to make decisions?
- What will it cost me if I do not make a decision and change?
- What will I miss out on if I don’t decide and make a shift now?
- What is it costing me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially not making decisions I know I need to make?
To Your Bold, Brilliant & Rich Success!
