Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman?
October 2, 2012 by Karen Fagan · Leave A Comment
I used to tell myself I didn’t need support. I was in a place where I felt I had to be superwoman; taking care of my daughter, running my own business, doing life’s every day necessities and, finally, taking care of myself. I thought I could do it all by myself because I figured I didn’t have the time, energy or money to find the support, coach or mentor I needed to make life easier.
Boy was I mistaken! In my blindness (or stubbornness), I cost myself more time, more energy and so much more money in doing it alone than what I would have achieved by resourcing out and getting some help.
The “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality does NOT work.You know it deep down, just as I knew it for years.
Being on my own slowed me way down. I spent time doing the things I really didn’t want to do and questioned myself constantly. This almost always left me frustrated, stuck and overwhelmed.
The truth is that we women need support to enhance our life and to allow our brilliance to SHINE. Our precious energy should go into the things we love, so our brilliance is accessed as we create a healthy body, are able to spend more time with the people we love, and create our own life masterpiece.
When we fully step into our true brilliance, we are able to use our unique abilities to exponentially grow our business and have more energy to support other women who want to do the same.
When you say, “Yes!” to support in your life, your level of happiness increasessignificantly, you actually complete the things you always wanted to do, yourrelationships are much more fulfilling and you make way more money.
Trying to do it all by yourself keeps you disconnected from your authentic voice, desires and talents, not to mention, exhausted!
3 Reasons why the “Trying to Do It by Yourself, Superwoman” mentality can get you into serious trouble:
1. It keeps you from having it all
You life is not meant to be a struggle. You were born to live in purpose. When you’re doing things every single day that take away from your true purpose, you’re giving these tasks your “good” energy. You’re working hard at things that do not fall within your unique ability or enhance your skills in the area where you’re truly gifted.
When you are doing it all by yourself, it is nearly impossible to expand your life and purpose. Think about the possibilities, the growth and success that could be yours if you were able to give all of your good energy to your brilliance, your unique talents and gifts. Success and abundance would explode!
You are a very powerful woman who deserves to be supported so you can create exactly what you desire. You don’t have to keep trying to do it all by yourself.
2. Your precious energy is spent on tasks that deplete YOU
Imagine having the support in your life and no longer feeling depleted from doing the tasks that you really don’t love to do. The shackles on feeling lost disappear. You would really transform if more of your precious energy was invested in the things and areas of your life that completely fill your soul up.
When you are trying to do it all by yourself, your energy becomes depleted and often we become disconnected from what we really want.
If you keep living your life this way, you will become unhappy and dissatisfied with every area of your life. There’s a reason we’re supposed to spend time on the things our souls long for – it gives us vision into our true purpose, the thing that will leave us fulfilled and truly happy.
3. You constrict yourself from the very growth you desire
Let me guess, you’ve tried to do everything yourself and it has left you frustrated and exhausted. I know because I felt the same way. When you have support in your life, you move with ease and everything seems effortless.
Allowing support into your life allows you to expand and adds quicker pace than trying to do it all. When you are constantly trying, you are fighting against the current, rather than moving effortlessly with the flow and your whole life is a struggle.
The reality is your life and the people in your life will greatly benefit if you admit in your inability to do it all and align yourself with the support you need.Your business will grow, your personal outlook will be enhanced, and you will finally be living the life you know you deserve.
More importantly, your personal value will increase tremendously, and you’llfeel more empowered, self-confident, and a lot more like the “Superwoman” you were trying to be before you took on real support.
Do yourself a favor and seek support now. Your family, your happiness and your life depends on it.
5 Amazing Benefits of Masterminding!
June 13, 2012 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
Mastermind Groups are a powerful venue for change and have been around for centuries. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, studied the richest men of the early 1900’s and wrote this book as part of his research (if you haven’t read it already I highly recommend it). One of the common practices of all of the wealthy men he researched was that they participated in a Mastermind with other like-minded men. These Mastermind groups served the purpose of helping the participants solve problems and move forward in their goals, making them more wealthy and successful.
“Master Mind as coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose,” is how Napoleon Hill describes the Mastermind idea he studied. “This form of cooperative alliance (the Mastermind) has been the basis of nearly every great fortune. Your understanding of this great truth may definitely determine your financial status.”
Today, women entrepreneurs are designing new models of the Mastermind – and the results are more powerful than ever before. Being a women entrepreneur and being a member of a high level Mastermind group, I’m huge believer in the Mastermind model (in addition to private coaching) because it connects me with like-minded, big vision people and has tripled my success as an entrepreneur. I get to offer my point of view to my Mastermind group, and I receive solutions from the most extraordinary people.
When we try to create a profitable business on our own, it’s too easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated, isolated and stuck. When entrepreneurs are in this place, they (maybe you can relate to this?) they often begin to think that maybe there is something wrong with them. But the real truth is there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, the real truth is that you have a profound message to share that will help people transform their lives. I know deep in your heart you long to get this message out in the world in a BIG WAY!
But what exactly is a Mastermind? And how do you know if it’s for you?
Below are five elements of a Mastermind group. This will give you an idea of how they work so you can decide whether or not you would like to form a Mastermind or join one.
1. A Mastermind allows you to see a much bigger vision for yourself and moves you forward allowing you to take much bigger leaps.
A Mastermind is about creating consistent forward momentum and helping you achieve your dreams and goals. A Mastermind group brings out the things that are within you that you cannot see for yourself.
Masterminds are different than support groups. Support groups are wonderful to heal from past trauma, but Masterminds are not about healing. Mastermind groups are about growing taking big leaps and being willing to live out your fullest potential and playing your biggest game.
People who try to form casual Masterminds often end up disappointed. Causal Masterminds are much different than a Mastermind group with strong coaching and high level teaching of mindset, systems and marketing.
All members have to hold that level of energy, commitment, desire and set an intention to keep that momentum. This is not always an easy task!
2. A Mastermind Group is about powerful shifts in your mindset. Complaining, excuse-making and whining are not options!
In a Mastermind, each person gets a “hot seat” to present her big vision for her business and life to the group. The person presents her goals, dreams, and challenges. Tears often happen, as she is releasing fearful energy that up to this point has kept her stuck and realizing the time is NOW to move forward.
Complaining, excuses-making, whining and the feelings of staying stuck quickly dissolve. You are not only heard and fully supported, you are also given you need to gain clarity and move forward. Mindsets are a huge part of the Mastermind.
3. A Mastermind Group is about growth and expansion out of your comfort zone.
Most people desire expansion and growth. People who join a Mastermind know in their gut without growth for their purpose and dreams they’ll die a slow death. When you take part in a Mastermind you will be expanded and stretched. This excites people because they know on the other side of their comfort zone is huge growth. In fact, this is one of the biggest reasons people want to take part in a Mastermind! They know the results they have had from staying within their comfort zones and not satisfactory. Masterminds are very effective because they require you to expand out your comfort zone so you get the results you want (let’s get serious – helping more people, more money, more personal freedom and the business you love!).
4. A Mastermind Group offers support and holds you accountable.
For me personally, I am showing up for my life and business in a way I have never done before as a result of being part of a Mastermind. The results I am achieving are mind blowing! So much, in fact, I won the recent “Implementation Challenge” amongst my Mastermind group.
You see, creating a clear vision, having systems, and deciding and taking action are my strengths, and Masterminding has made these strengths even stronger (actually this is one reason why my clients love me as their coach. I move them from being stuck to achieving freedom through clarity, systems, deciding and action).
5. A Mastermind creates a huge space for new ideas, implementation, and resources. It’s a relationship of giving and receiving.
Each person is fully present and committed to supporting their Mastermind group. When each person gives their full focus and attention to one person and her dreams, brilliant ideas spark and solutions are offered. Challenges are no more – that is the power of the group. Resources and connections are often discovered in the process. This is just some of the tremendous value and benefit to taking part in a Mastermind.
There is something incredibly powerful about being amongst a group of Big Visionaries within the Mastermind.
Napoleon Hill put it this way: “No two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”
The intention with the Mastermind group taps into a higher source of intelligence and creativity naturally guiding the group and moving it forward together. A greater awareness happens.
The awareness of this “third” mind helps me trust and access the knowing from within. Therefore, I am able to walk into fear and trust there is something bigger happening on the other side of fear.
Being part of a Mastermind is the greatest gift I could have ever given my business. It was an investment and risk I knew I had to take if I ever wanted to grow my business to a point where I could help more women and produce a larger income. Without risk, there is no reward.
May 16, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
This Week’s Question:
Hi Karen,
I feel like giving up! I am not making progress like I had hoped in my business and it feels like “making progress” is taking forever. I am starting to question if I made the right decision (or if there is something wrong with me) and maybe that is why I am not as successful as everyone else seems to be. I am working so hard – and the results are nowhere in sight.
Can you please give me some tips so I don’t give up?
Terry NYC
Karen’s Answer:
Now is not the time to give up, Terry! (Take a colored index card, write this down, and tape it onto your computer for a reminder, o.k?)
Often when we are working too hard, and pushing too much not seeing the results we desire – we become exhausted and begin to question ourselves – and we simply feel like giving up.
But now is not the time to give up! You have come way too far and to turn back now! Below are four simple tips that will help you create forward momentum, much better results, increase your level of happiness and put the bounce back into your step!
1. Give Yourself Permission
One reason that we get stuck, overwhelmed, and frustrated is because we suffer burn out and fatigue from trying so hard. I have a private client who has doubled her success by practicing my coaching instruction to simply give herself permission to rest and stop pushing. If you are like me, you want results yesterday! However, I have learned (and coach many women) to slow down when struggle sets in. Don’t push.
When we are pushing and tired our reality gets distorted. Instead of pushing and beating yourself up for what you have not yet accomplished, give yourself permission to take a break when you’re tired and everything feels like you’re going against the current. Fatigue is one of the number one causes for burnout. It causes second-guessing of oneself — one of the biggest reasons people quit! When you feel like you are spinning your wheels – allow yourself to step away – regain clarity – and get your prospective back. By allowing yourself to rest and connect with joy, you’ll be happier and more successful. Creativity flows and you will be more productive. Commit today to giving yourself permission to rest.
2. Let Go
When we are pushing rather than in an effortless flow – we just need to let go. When you become blocked and stuck, it’s time to check in with how attached you are to the outcome. You will know when you are really attached to the outcome because you will feel exhausted and ready to give up.
I have seen private clients attract more clients, land speaking gigs, land a great job, and find the perfect match – just by releasing their attachment to the outcome. Once you let go, you will find yourself being more resourceful, thinking out of the box, and seeing new opportunities. Your happiness level will sky rocket and you will achieve the exact results you desire – if not better.
3. Push Through the Dip
You may feel like you have hit a low, but really it’s the transformational point leading you to success. You may feel like giving up even though you’re doing all the right things. You are doing all the right things – just not seeing the results. Seth Godin wrote an amazing book called “The Dip” — the plateau that separates the average from the best in the world. Knowing what to do when you hit the dip is so important. If you have hit the dip and you can honestly say that going forward is the best decision, then you continue to move boldly ahead until you reach the other side. It might feel like the hardest you have ever worked, but once you make it, the results will be tremendous.
4. Give Yourself the Gift of Support
Support and (accountability) is everything! Sometimes, we can’t see our own blind spots and this often slows us way down, frustrates us, and we end up working even harder. When you are doing things in your life and business that you have never done before, having support makes all the difference in the world!
Working with a coach will not only support you and give you accountability, it will push you out of your comfort zone. All my private clients are so amazed that prior to investing in coaching with me, they thought they either didn’t really need a coach – or felt guilty about choosing to invest in coaching. Now, after being coached they are committed to always having this type of support in their life. Why? Because, left to our own devices we don’t do what we should or could. When we work with a coach, we make more progress and do it more rapidly. I personally know this – not just from coaching hundreds of women – but from investing in myself and having MY OWN private coach.
April 5, 2011 by Karen Fagen · Leave A Comment
This Week’s Question:
Hi Karen,
I am absolutely thrilled to be a mom, wife and business owner, but there are days when I struggle and need “HELP!” I need direction and guidance on how to be more efficient and also GROW my online business. I think I need a coach – but have never worked with one before.
Can you advise me on what it might cost and some of the benefits I may be over-looking?
-A Clueless Admirer
Karen’s Answer:
Hi Clueless Admirer,
This is a great question — but first, let me say that you are not clueless at all. You are brilliant, because you already know you need support and direction, and have asked a great question.
This is such a huge part of really being honest. You are admitting that what you are doing on your own isn’t bringing the results you truly want. Anytime we say “I think”– it really means we know in our heart what we need to do to create different results. Also, I love your energy and excitement with the blend of your life being a mom, wife, and entrepreneur. But, it’s really important to line up the support you need, so you don’t get burned-out. That way, you will stay connected to your excitement and feel good energy.
People often say to me “Karen you are so productive and growing so much!” Yes, it’s true I do have lots of energy and I am motivated from within. But the real truth is, I would never accomplish what I do if I didn’t have a coach and an amazing support team. Working with a high-level coach has completely revolutionized my life and business. I am happier, more productive, focused, and have a much, much bigger vision for my life. I am helping more people and meeting so many amazing people as a result of my coach’s input, and I have tripled my income!
To be completely honest, I will always have a coach and mentors in my life because I know what my life was like before — without a coach — and what my life is like now, since investing in working with a coach.
I will never go back to not having a coach!
It’s important to align yourself with a coach who is already doing what you want to do, has the level of success you desire, and who is dedicated to her own growth and invests in coaching for herself.
Pricing varies and is different for all coaches. As with anything else, you get what you pay for. Less experience may mean less cost to you – but it can also mean less success for you. For me, I wanted to work with the best and was ready to pay for it — even if it didn’t make sense on paper. I asked myself (as I ask others), “What is it costing both emotionally and financially by NOT having a coach?” I knew deep in my soul, my entire life would change in a powerful way by hiring a coach. And it has!
The bold truth is that hiring a coach is not a magic pill. You must be ready to show up fully and do your work (which I know you are just from what you wrote). Often people say it didn’t work, when really they weren’t willing to dump the excuses and take different action.
As the saying goes — “You get out of it what you put into it.”
Having a coach for growing your online business will provide you specific strategies you need. A coach will create a plan to assist you with your greatest vision, support and help you overcome any fear and obstacles you may have, provide accountability and perhaps a different perspective. An excellent coach will always remind you of what you said you really wanted when you start to wander or get fearful. She will reflect back on your accomplishments, bring out the best in you, and offer you accountability. What I know for sure, is that by investing in an experienced coach, you will get the results you desire in a much, much quicker time than by doing it all by yourself.
Once you empower yourself and make the decision to have your own coach, you will be pleasantly surprised at how much your energy increases.
It sounds like you are ready to invest in yourself, your life and business. This is key. Private coaching is truly an opportunity to invest in yourself so you can become more of who you are and make a much bigger impact in the world. The world awaits your greatness!
