Now, for most people, we’ll do just about anything to not feel uncomfortable. We resist, push back, avoid, and procrastinate. We become moody, we sleep too much, eat too much, drink too much . . . the list just goes on and on. But what are these actions doing to service our growth and ourselves? Absolutely nothing.
Let’s face it: change is uncomfortable. Feeling comfortable comes from knowing what to expect, maintaining a status quo and staying within our same old boundaries. In order to make a change, we have to tear down those walls, climb beyond our self-imposed barriers and allow the Big Breakdown to happen.
The Big Breakdown is the uncomfortable period where the change starts to take place. It comes through painful thoughts like, “Who the heck are you to do that?” Systems go haywire, like computers crashing and dropped conference call recordings. At times there are physical manifestations in our bodies like headaches, heartaches, and bellyaches. We feel angry, frustrated and scared so we participate in actions like avoidance when we know, deep down, that it would serve us best to be facing our fears and discomfort head on.
And you know what? All this discomfort is a good thing! Just beyond the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough where you’ll find everything you want and need to grow and succeed. Isn’t this cool? Actually, everything we need and want is right under our noses; the Big Breakdown is the Universe’s way of getting us to step back and see it. Our initial reaction to the Big Breakdown is to shut it off and run away. I’ve been there and I totally get it. However, I’ve taught myself to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, knowing that right past the Big Breakdown is the Big Breakthrough. . . and that’s where the magic happens.
Here are some tips to bust through your own Big Breakdown to reap the benefits of your Big Breakthrough!
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Learn to master this one and your progress will skyrocket, and you’ll experience ongoing growth and success. When it comes to accepting the changes in your life, feel your fear . . . and then release it. Once you release your negative, scary thoughts, you allow new opportunities to come into your life. The longer you avoid feeling your feelings, the longer it takes to eventually release them which only delays what you’re really looking for… The Big Breakthrough.
Change is going to happen. And there’s one thing I know for sure: good things always come from change . . . even if we can’t see it right away. Learn to trust in the process. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable and get ready to fly!
- Create a “feel good” state of being.Your emotional state is a big key to what you are attracting to your life. If you want to attract more, you must release old paradigms and false beliefs about yourself. When we are confronted with change, our minds automatically think about what we’re giving up, not what we’re gaining. That mindset keeps us in a place of lack rather than moving us into a place of abundance.Create a “feel good” state of being to move into abundance and attract all that the Universe has to offer you. Instead of focusing on what you may not have right now, focus on what you want. Take a moment to visualize yourself as being enveloped in goodness and well-being. Close your eyes and breathe deeply while focusing on all that you want to attract to your life.Here’s a list to help you get started:
Imagine that you have all of these things, and more. Allow yourself to believe in and expect positive results from the change in your life. Trust that what you really seek will appear.
Are You Willing?
Ask and answer the following questions for yourself:
- Are you willing to trade short-term discomfort for long-term success?
- How badly do you want your ideal business and delicious lifestyle?
- Are you willing to find another way when presented with a road-block?
Just because your bridge telephone line disconnects during your live conference call, you completely spill paint all over a great piece of your artwork, or your important meeting gets canceled, don’t take it as a sign that you’re no good at your chosen path, that you’re not meant to do it or that you’re doomed.
When things like this happen, remind yourself of your answers to the above questions. See these minor disruptions as opportunities to improve your systems. Perhaps you would benefit from delegating tasks, asking for help or simply taking a break. It’s all up to you! You get to determine what your Big Breakdown means and how you are going respond to it. Will you use it to become empowered or disempowered? (Hint: Pick empowered!)
Embrace the Big Breakdown to get to your Big Breakthrough, release resistance and allow the Universe to work its magic! I promise, it will be worth it!
I would love to hear from you – please share with us how you are getting comfortable with being uncomfortable by posting a comment here on my blog.
I often hear from clients that what most keeps them in a disempowered place is the feeling of guilt over something they did, or living with regret over something they did not do. Either of these can deplete energy and block one’s ability to make clear decisions and take massive action. Both can hold us back from what we want most.
I believe in filling our souls up with so much feel good energy that we simply live empowered, unstoppable in our ability to take action, while living FR*EE from joy-robbing guilt and regret! Imagine being in full alignment with positive thoughts every day; feeling empowered, taking meaningful action toward your goals – what you most desire – without negative thoughts. It is possible to live completely FR*EE of the guilt, regret, and all the “could have’s”, “might have’s”, and “should have’s”. All that is necessary is that you give yourself permission to do it.
You deserve an abundance of clean and feel good energy. This is the exact energy that will build your self-confidence, FR*EE you from second-guessing, and spark the clarity and action needed to accomplish your goals. So, give yourself permission, today, to begin to practice living your life guilt and regret FR*EE!
9 Things You Can Do to Practice Living Life Guilt-FR*EE With No Regrets:
- See Opportunity – Not Mistakes. When things fall apart or don’t turn out the way you had hoped, don’t spend time beating yourself up. Look for the opportunity to learn, instead. There is always opportunity – quite often, what appears as the worst situation, is the biggest opportunity in disguise. Don’t allow the situation to defeat you – overcome the situation by making good use of the opportunity it presents.
- Follow Your Own Path. This is the direct route to happiness. Decide today to get off the path that is depleting you, leaving you frustrated and unhappy. When we give up what we desire and “try” to walk on someone else’s path it never works! Instead, we will only find ourselves living with guilt and regret. However, when you claim your inner truth and live your life on your own path, you will find yourself giving and sharing out of your abundance – empowered and productive!
- Make FUN a Sacred Ritual. Put the FUN back in your life and do it like you brush your teeth, daily and with diligence. Connect yourself with laughter – not once in awhile – but on a daily basis. Simply start by smiling more and see what a huge, positive impact this has in your life. You’ll be amazed at how often you receive a smile in return for one of yours, and the way it can immediately energize you.
- Relax & Get Into Your Flow. Breathe more fully and deeply. Recall a time in your life when you were in your “Sweet Spot” and return to this place today. What were you doing? What felt so great? Identify the answers to these two questions. Let go of resistance and move into your flow. You will instantly feel better. You will know you are in your flow, because it will feel, and taste, better than anything in the world!
- Be Adventurous. See life as an adventure, not just something you must deal with. Create little and big adventures in your life. A little adventure could be driving a different route to work or the grocery store, trying a new taste of drink or food. This will open your mind and your senses to experiencing things you have never felt, seen, or even noticed before. Enroll in a yoga class – or any type of class in which you have always wanted to participate. Create more adventure today – in a small, or big, way.
- Be Bold. Face your fear and take action to create the life you truly desire. Start doing this today. Get the support needed via a mentor or coach. You deserve support in your life and having it will save you a lot of time and energy. Make decisions instead of waiting for the right time and perfect conditions – end procrastination. Take yourself to the next level sooner, because you deserve it – NOW!
- LOVE Your Work. If you do not currently love what you do, it is time to get fully honest with yourself and take the steps to do the work you LOVE. Maybe you love your work, but there are elements of it that you don’t love – that’s okay – there is a way to align yourself to live in a space where 95% of the time you are doing what you love.
- Self-Care is How We Bold Women Roll. When we don’t take care of our need to feel GREAT, we are disempowered and exhausted. Get clear on what your particular needs are for self-care – morning, noon, and night – and put this into place starting TODAY. You will not only feel amazing, but you will also FR*EE yourself of feeling awful – for good!
- FUEL Your Body. Begin today to re-fuel with positive thoughts and gratitude, along with clean nutrition. Simply put, when we eat crap, we feel like crap – leaving us vulnerable to guilt and regret. When the body is fueled with too much sugar, it creates chaos and anxiety, completely disconnecting us from our essential self. A poor diet, high in sugar, impairs our ability to think positively. Put in the good stuff and get great results. A guilt FR*EE diet is one more positive way to live life with no regrets!
I would love to hear from you – If you have special tips, which you successfully use to Live Life Guilt-FR*EE With No Regrets, please share them by posting a comment here on my blog.
I use to think something was wrong with me for not doing the exact thing I knew would help turn my ideas and dreams into reality. I spent a lot of time saying “I know what I need to do, but why the heck am I not doing it?” This really blocked me from achieving my personal and business goals. Can you relate to this?
I spent a lot of time wondering why I wasn’t taking action or implementing the exact thing I said I wanted. I often felt confused, and I finally came to place where I was exhausted and tired of asking myself this question. I fully decided I wasn’t going to let another day, week, month, or year go by, feeling like I missed an opportunity.
Here are 5 tips to get you moving into your exact desires:
- Fully Decide: It is your time NOW and there is no better time to actively pursue your dreams. Why wait? The world needs you NOW. When we decide, we instantly become empowered to take action. The women in my Bold, Brilliant & Rich Life Mastery Program are mastering the power of making decision, and as a result they are up-leveling their lives and business plans. They are now taking action toward the things they once just thought of.
- Create YOUR Plan & Work It: Fully embrace the idea that you are the captain of your ship! Your schedule is about doing the things you love. There is a huge difference in waking up and being clear about the intention and focus of the day, as opposed to waking up and scrambling, just trying to keep up with whatever comes your way. Make time in your schedule to create your plan and work it. I suggest awaking and giving yourself what I call an “Hour of Power.” As women we need more time for us! You can begin with thirty minutes and develop consistency, then work your way up to an hour. You will find over time you crave the full hour because it makes you feel unstoppable, and you begin to see the amazing things you’re accomplishing.
- Priority & Focus: Get clear on your top three priorities and focus on these. Whatever we put our attention and focus on, we get more of. Eliminate the things/activities that drain you from being able to prioritize and focus. Get clear about where you are leaking time and where energy is being drained. This will allow you to make empowered changes to set your priorities and focus on them.
- Own Your Truth: Get honest with yourself and own your truth. Your inner truth is always waiting to be acknowledged so it can emerge and give you the incredible life of success and abundance you’ve always wanted. Most women hide from their truth because they fear what they will find. They have a hunch and knowing that if they follow their truth, their life will change in a powerful. This can be scary or they believe they aren’t deserving of their truth and the freedom it brings. You should know that your truth is the one thing that will set you completely free; the real thing you fear is your brilliance. Get quiet and own your truth. You ARE more than enough and you deserve to have the things you REALLY want deep inside.
- Support & Align yourself with like-minded people: It’s true what the success gurus say about the power of association. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, empowering individuals will keep you on track to your BIG goals and vision. This is the exact reason I invested in a high-level Mastermind group. When I feel as though my vision is too big, my Mastermind pushes me to dream even BIGGER. They see in me what I blindly do not see; they see my brilliance and push me to own my personal power. Because I’m constantly in contact with others who want the same abundant life I seek, it keeps me fully aligned with my goals. Being with a group like this will give support, encouragement and keep you taking action and accomplishing BIG things that bring the success you really want. You are full of potential surround yourself with the people, coaches and mentors that naturally pull this potential out of you.
Apply these 5 tips to your life TODAY – don’t wait – and you’ll find yourself closer to your BIG goals, dreams and vision every day.
Mastermind Groups are a powerful venue for change and have been around for centuries. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, studied the richest men of the early 1900’s and wrote this book as part of his research (if you haven’t read it already I highly recommend it). One of the common practices of all of the wealthy men he researched was that they participated in a Mastermind with other like-minded men. These Mastermind groups served the purpose of helping the participants solve problems and move forward in their goals, making them more wealthy and successful.
“Master Mind as coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose,” is how Napoleon Hill describes the Mastermind idea he studied. “This form of cooperative alliance (the Mastermind) has been the basis of nearly every great fortune. Your understanding of this great truth may definitely determine your financial status.”
Today, women entrepreneurs are designing new models of the Mastermind – and the results are more powerful than ever before. Being a women entrepreneur and being a member of a high level Mastermind group, I’m huge believer in the Mastermind model (in addition to private coaching) because it connects me with like-minded, big vision people and has tripled my success as an entrepreneur. I get to offer my point of view to my Mastermind group, and I receive solutions from the most extraordinary people.
When we try to create a profitable business on our own, it’s too easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated, isolated and stuck. When entrepreneurs are in this place, they (maybe you can relate to this?) they often begin to think that maybe there is something wrong with them. But the real truth is there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, the real truth is that you have a profound message to share that will help people transform their lives. I know deep in your heart you long to get this message out in the world in a BIG WAY!
But what exactly is a Mastermind? And how do you know if it’s for you?
Below are five elements of a Mastermind group. This will give you an idea of how they work so you can decide whether or not you would like to form a Mastermind or join one.
1. A Mastermind allows you to see a much bigger vision for yourself and moves you forward allowing you to take much bigger leaps.
A Mastermind is about creating consistent forward momentum and helping you achieve your dreams and goals. A Mastermind group brings out the things that are within you that you cannot see for yourself.
Masterminds are different than support groups. Support groups are wonderful to heal from past trauma, but Masterminds are not about healing. Mastermind groups are about growing taking big leaps and being willing to live out your fullest potential and playing your biggest game.
People who try to form casual Masterminds often end up disappointed. Causal Masterminds are much different than a Mastermind group with strong coaching and high level teaching of mindset, systems and marketing.
All members have to hold that level of energy, commitment, desire and set an intention to keep that momentum. This is not always an easy task!
2. A Mastermind Group is about powerful shifts in your mindset. Complaining, excuse-making and whining are not options!
In a Mastermind, each person gets a “hot seat” to present her big vision for her business and life to the group. The person presents her goals, dreams, and challenges. Tears often happen, as she is releasing fearful energy that up to this point has kept her stuck and realizing the time is NOW to move forward.
Complaining, excuses-making, whining and the feelings of staying stuck quickly dissolve. You are not only heard and fully supported, you are also given you need to gain clarity and move forward. Mindsets are a huge part of the Mastermind.
3. A Mastermind Group is about growth and expansion out of your comfort zone.
Most people desire expansion and growth. People who join a Mastermind know in their gut without growth for their purpose and dreams they’ll die a slow death. When you take part in a Mastermind you will be expanded and stretched. This excites people because they know on the other side of their comfort zone is huge growth. In fact, this is one of the biggest reasons people want to take part in a Mastermind! They know the results they have had from staying within their comfort zones and not satisfactory. Masterminds are very effective because they require you to expand out your comfort zone so you get the results you want (let’s get serious – helping more people, more money, more personal freedom and the business you love!).
4. A Mastermind Group offers support and holds you accountable.
For me personally, I am showing up for my life and business in a way I have never done before as a result of being part of a Mastermind. The results I am achieving are mind blowing! So much, in fact, I won the recent “Implementation Challenge” amongst my Mastermind group.
You see, creating a clear vision, having systems, and deciding and taking action are my strengths, and Masterminding has made these strengths even stronger (actually this is one reason why my clients love me as their coach. I move them from being stuck to achieving freedom through clarity, systems, deciding and action).
5. A Mastermind creates a huge space for new ideas, implementation, and resources. It’s a relationship of giving and receiving.
Each person is fully present and committed to supporting their Mastermind group. When each person gives their full focus and attention to one person and her dreams, brilliant ideas spark and solutions are offered. Challenges are no more – that is the power of the group. Resources and connections are often discovered in the process. This is just some of the tremendous value and benefit to taking part in a Mastermind.
There is something incredibly powerful about being amongst a group of Big Visionaries within the Mastermind.
Napoleon Hill put it this way: “No two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.”
The intention with the Mastermind group taps into a higher source of intelligence and creativity naturally guiding the group and moving it forward together. A greater awareness happens.
The awareness of this “third” mind helps me trust and access the knowing from within. Therefore, I am able to walk into fear and trust there is something bigger happening on the other side of fear.
Being part of a Mastermind is the greatest gift I could have ever given my business. It was an investment and risk I knew I had to take if I ever wanted to grow my business to a point where I could help more women and produce a larger income. Without risk, there is no reward.
There was a time in my life I was really disconnected to my own self. I didn’t even know what I liked, what pleased me, not to mention, what I wanted to do with my precious life. But the one thing I did know, I was not living the life I desired. I felt this in my soul. It’s not something I had to know – it was a feeling deep down inside me.
Once I figured out who I was as a woman, I was so afraid to reveal this to the world. I was afraid to dress the way I truly wanted, even as far as being afraid to wear too big of earrings in case people talked about me. I was afraid to tell people that, once, I really wanted to take my own life. I was afraid to eat super healthy food in front of people who weren’t eating the same way or who were unhealthy themselves. I thought people will think I am crazy; too much – too demanding – too into living a higher quality life.
So, I just kept myself a very small version of me in hopes I wouldn’t rock the boat. In order to not get people mad, I kept myself safe and small so others would like me and wouldn’t judge me for living a happy and healthy life.
Has something like this ever happened to you?
Many of my private clients used to be scared silly to express who they are as a woman and what their place is in this world. They stay quiet; stay in the wrong place in their lives or careers; carry extra weight and have depleted energy and bank accounts. Sound familiar?
Take an honest look at what your life is right now. When it comes to your body, your relationships, your personal life, your career - Are you a woman who is rocking it authentically, or are you hiding behind the rock? Playing small, playing safe and hiding behind a rock – doesn’t work EVER! I know!!
I lived behind the rock for a long time. Why? Because nothing was ever allowed to feel good … I never allowed myself the pleasure of a job well done; the pleasure of living a good and healthy life; of having quality relationships. Living behind the rock keeps you completely out of alignment with who you really are; who you are meant to be and it will never bring you any closer to your heart desires.
How do you step into who you really are as a women and be who you are meant to be?
Take a look at this list and see what you can change and start working on today.
Women Who Rock Out Life Authentically …
1. Never apologizes for who she is, what she wears, what she desires and for what she does or what she doesn’t like.
2. Says what she means even if it pisses people off.
3. Lives her life with compassion but doesn’t sacrifice her happiness for others.
4. Has very clear boundaries
5. Is very clear with when she says YES and when she says NO
6. Lives free from guilt, self-criticism, and gossip
7. Asks for what she needs – without hesitation.
8. Brings her best self forward even when she doesn’t feel like it.
9. Knows that if she is at a restaurant and her meal comes not to her standard, she can graciously ask for it to be returned, corrected or ask for something else – without feeling like she’s been needy or a b%$#@.
10. Knows how to please herself and knows how to ask others to please her.
11. Is surrounded by friends that support and challenge her to be her best.
12. Wears larger than life earrings when she feels like (My private clients did this – it felt so good to her to wear what she truly desired)
13. Rests and replenishes because she craves it.
14. Makes decisions without the need to justify them.
15.Knows when she indulges in spa treatments or shopping, she doesn’t have to hide it from her loved ones.
16. Spends quality time with her children and loved ones, free from distraction.
17. Thrives on contribution.
18. Knows exactly when she needs rest.
19. Flosses her teeth, feeds her body with high quality food.
20. Seeks all things wonderful.
21. Doesn’t waste time in drama and chaos
22. Has decided to no longer waste time with body image issue; rather set her life up to love her body and support it.
23. Invests in herself and life without hesitation or guilt.
24. Continuously adds more color in to her life.
25. Allows herself to connect to her sensual energy as women.
26. Lives in love not in fear.
27. No longer pretends everything is o.k. when it’s not. She stopped pretending and telling herself it will get better. She finally gives herself the gift of a powerful coach.
28. Allows dreams; she is curious; she desires the best for herself, family, animals and community
So tell me… how will you authentically start Rocking Your Life Out? Start today by posting your comments on how you will start. I would love to hear them!! Together we can do this!
The power of focus with commitment and consistency creates momentum; and momentum creates more momentum.
The actions we take in life not only bring success but also teaches us new ways of being in the world. For example, if we are expanding ourselves to grow our business, receive and be open to love, create a deeper level of intimacy in all areas of our life, we become more courageous. The more bold action we take the more comfortable we become in our own skin. Being comfortable in who you are allows you to experience life from a different perspective.
The power of focus has taught me to completely up-level my life and business. In order to meet my goals and keep my creative juices flowing, I have learned to focus my time and attention on only the activities that will bring the desired results. This means if you want to have more fun, grow your business, lose weight, or improve your relationship with yourself, but find yourself distracted (wasting an outrageous amount of hours on Facebook, for example), then it’s time to bring the power of focus into your life.
I have learned an important lesson when it comes to achieving goals and creating better results in my life: The power of focus is the secret of success. This means bringing your attention to your center, concentrating on one thing intently in order to gain clarity. When you teach yourself to focus on one goal or opportunity at a time not only will you be much more productive, you’ll feel like a million bucks and will also go more deeply into your present goal. You will bring forth your own inner wisdom and insight.
Distraction blocks creativeness and your inner greatness from emerging. It’s hard to focus or even complete what you set out to do when you are highly distracted.
Answer the questions below with Yes or No.
- Do you generate so many new ideas that you never implement, or don’t finish one idea to completion?
- At the end of the day you feel as though you haven’t accomplished anything meaningful towards your most heart felt goals?
- Does your website or brochure describe so many services that it confuses your potential clients?
- Do often wonder where all the time has gone?
We are all creative beings and it makes complete sense for us to want to pursue many paths at once. However, when we expend our energy in too many directions it weakens the power of focus. Is there a project, goal or opportunity that is in need of your devoted attention?
This week assignment:
- List out your top three priorities. (Example: excellent self care, writing, marketing my business, etc.).
- Preplan your schedule with your priorities. Block out power focus time to focus only these three priorities. This means you may decide to shut your phone and computer off while working on you top priorities. You may want to go to bed earlier to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to practice the power of focus in your life and business daily.
- Write on a colored index card, “I am so grateful for the power of focus. I focus my attention only on the activities that will bring me my desired results” and post it where you will see it. If you get swayed toward somethings else (which will easily happen), you can get right back on track.
Do yourself a huge favor and honor your goals and desire for creating better results in your life. Apply the power of focus starting today. Don’t wait until tomorrow or it won’t happen. Your life is now, and it should be enjoyed. Distraction is such an energy drain and creates a big “bummer” vibe. The truth is feeling more energetic, alive, confident and creating sustainable success comes from the the ability to stay focused on what you truly desire.
I’d love to hear how you will apply the “Power of Focus” in your life or business. Post a comment here on my blog, and answer this question: “This week I’ll focus my attention on…”
Are you ready for some new inspired energy and to step into a fresh start, new hope & possibilities? Last week I had clients tell me they were ready to clean up from the inside out meaning ready to conquer the piles of clutter they’ve been avoiding both physical & mental. Some clients simply were good to themselves guilt free and gave themselves, they invested in the thing they had been dreaming about or they decided to take up a new hobby. Other clients literally took much bigger steps in personal responsibility, deciding to stop making excuses, improve their financial well being and commit to more action for an extended period rather than on & off again.
Last week during my session with Ellen (I respect honor confidently therefore I will never use a clients real name) we discovered what her over filled closets really represented. The impact of over stuffed closets was symbolic of her relationship with HERSELF.
You see, the clutter in our lives is not there because we are lazy, don’t have time, are overwhelmed or unfocused that is all cover up – clutter is about a deeper issue. Tolerating clutter is a sure way to living a mediocre life.
When we want something bad enough we do whatever it takes to make it happen. I have personal experience with this one & I watch many of my clients take on this attitude. It works 100% full proof. To me it’s one of the boldest actions one can take.
When we chose to conquer the clutter in our life it frees us up to take action on the things that matter most to us. When we awaken to the real reason we are tolerating clutter in our physical space or mentally – we gain freedom to fly – higher than we can possibly imagine.
Here are 4 important questions to ask yourself so you can break free from clutter.
This week Empowerment Assignment: Grab your journal and answer these questions.
- Understand what you are getting out of the clutterThe only reason you have clutter is because it gives you something even if it’s not something good.You must be getting something out of that clutter, right?I asked my client Ellen this question last week. She said “what?” I then said, “Ellen we only tolerate things in our life because we get something out of it. Whether it’s good or bad so tell me what’s the pay off for your clutter.” At first she resisted the question and then really opened up to what the question had to offer her – Insight. In just a few moments her truth appeared.Ellen said in a very quiet voice ” What I get out of my clutter is I get to stay covered up in it and not be inactive in creating the life I want. I can continuously focus on the mess instead of facing my fears about moving forward.”Clutter was Ellen’s cover up for keeping it safe and staying small.Not moving towards her dreams and living her ideal life. If Ellen hides behind the clutter she wouldn’t upset anyone. Her fear is she may upset people if she actually left her job and started her own business. She was afraid to break out of the roles assigned to her.
Nice women are meant to break out of the assigned roles especially if they’re not happy in them, if it will better their life, people around them and the world.
She also realized she didn’t have to look her life in the eyes and get honest. Clutter allowed her to avoid the conversation she needed to have with herself, it created an illusion of keeping her safe from changing her career path and kept her at a safe enough distance from pursuing her dreams.
All Ellen got out of clutter was to focus on it and talk about instead of being BOLD and taking action to change her life.
- Who Would You be Without Your Clutter?Ellen told me she would be so happy she was honoring herself, she would stop feeling so bad for not honoring herself, she would be more bold and get her sexy back (she did say it). She would actually claim her voice and start her own business; she would enroll in the dance class she also wanted to, and she would actually want to be closer with husband.Write down who you’d be with out you clutter.Examples:Focused
- Do you want to take action to be that person listed above? YESNO
- STOP Looking the Other way (YOU deserve this to be clutter free): Decide to commit to look at the clutter and learn. Take ACTION.Answer these questions:
- What needs cleaning up in your life and your closets?
- What are your options for actively making this happen?
- Can you do this alone or do you need support?
- Who could offer you the best support?
Examples: yourself, friend or a coach to give your support and accountability.
Make Your Plan to be Clutter Free this Spring
Make a list of what you need in place to clean your clutter out. Devise your plan of action & get support if you need. For most women we resist support (I know I used to be a pro at this). Open yourself to accomplish this with ease by allowing yourself to set up any support you may need. Outsource hire someone to remove the table you haven’t used in years, the broken exercise equipment that’s collecting dust, take the bag of cloths to Goodwill. Ask a friend to come over get iced lattes, make it fun and go to work. Than reward yourself perhaps with a pedicure. Next would be to decide what support you need to create your master life plan of getting clear and moving in the direction of living on purpose.
When I ask women what they secretly desire, most often they become very quiet. Sometimes, they say something like, “WOW! I really don’t know – I haven’t really ever thought about it.”
Most often, it’s not that they haven’t thought about their desire, they’ve just disconnected from what they most desire, due to fear or lack of clarity about how to turn that desire into reality. Many of us keep our secret desires locked up; even dismiss them, because they seem too unrealistic.
What do you fantasize about? The kind of desire that seems too good to be true? Is there something your soul has been burning to do, be, or offer, that keeps getting put on the back burner, perhaps conveniently dismissed? Maybe you would like to dance, travel for work, write a book, find passionate love, start a new business, or achieve true emotional and financial freedom. What stops you from make the fantasy a reality?
Sometimes, the thing you most want comes with the most risk. No one enjoys facing the risk of rejection, disappointment, or failure, but if you play it safe, believing that you shouldn’t do it if it seems unrealistic, your secret desires will never see the light of day. Actually, you risk something even greater – the opportunity to experience the joy that comes from expressing your unique talents and gifts. Even worse, by not taking the risk, you’re left with a voice inside lamenting, “If only.”
How would your life change right now, if you decided to shine light on your inner secret desire, made that desire your top priority, and shared it with the rest of the world? What is the worst thing that could happen?
In my experience – happiness is what happens! The women I have coached, who have named their inner desires and pursued them, have been rewarded with a deep sense of calm, connection, and genuine happiness.
This week’s Action Challenge:
- Shine the light on your inner desires and share with someone you deeply trust – someone who will give you only positive, affirming feedback. Magic happens when we verbalize our inner most desires.
- Take one action to move your dreams into reality. Sign up for a class, do the exact thing you keep procrastinating about, find a mentor or coach, or do something to bring your gifts to the world.
Once you take action, you will be pleasantly surprised by how things just seem to fall into place as you bring your desire to life. I have never coached any woman who has said “I wish I had never brought my inner most desires to life.”
Honor yourself and answer all three questions – today.
- My Secret Desire is:
- To bring my inner desire out into the world, I will:
- One action step I fully commit to doing this week is:
I invite you to share your success by posting a comment here on my blog.
I know sometimes we just feel like giving up! It seems like we are not making progress as we had hoped for the New Year and often it feels like “making progress” is taking forever. When we reach this point, we start to question if we made the right decision (or even if there is something wrong with us) and maybe that is why we are not as successful as everyone else seems to be. You may find yourself working so hard – and the results are nowhere in sight.
I want to reassure you, if you feel this way; – you are exactly where you are supposed to be! The very important thing to remember is “Now is not the time to give up!”
Often when we are working too hard, and pushing too much not seeing the results we desire – we become exhausted and begin to question ourselves – and we simply feel like giving up.
But now is not the time to give up! You have come way too far and to turn back now! Below are four simple tips that will help you create forward momentum, much better results, increase your level of happiness and put the bounce back into your step!
1. Give Yourself Permission
One reason that we get stuck, overwhelmed, and frustrated is because we suffer burn out and fatigue from trying so hard. I have a private client who has doubled her success by practicing my coaching instruction to simply give herself permission to rest and stop pushing. If you are like me, you want results yesterday! However, I have learned (and coach many women) to slow down when struggle sets in. Don’t push.
When we are pushing and tired our reality gets distorted. Instead of pushing and beating yourself up for what you have not yet accomplished, give yourself permission to take a break when you’re tired and everything feels like you’re going against the current. Fatigue is one of the number one causes for burnout. It causes second-guessing of oneself — one of the biggest reasons people quit! When you feel like you are spinning your wheels – allow yourself to step away – regain clarity – and get your prospective back. By allowing yourself to rest and connect with joy, you’ll be happier and more successful. Creativity flows and you will be more productive. Commit today to giving yourself permission to rest.
2. Let Go
When we are pushing rather than in an effortless flow – we just need to let go. When you become blocked and stuck, it’s time to check in with how attached you are to the outcome. You will know when you are really attached to the outcome because you will feel exhausted and ready to give up.
I have seen private clients attract more clients, land speaking gigs, land a great job, and find the perfect match – just by releasing their attachment to the outcome. Once you let go, you will find yourself being more resourceful, thinking out of the box, and seeing new opportunities. Your happiness level will sky rocket and you will achieve the exact results you desire – if not better.
3. Push Through the Dip
You may feel like you have hit a low, but really it’s the transformational point leading you to success. You may feel like giving up even though you’re doing all the right things. You are doing all the right things – just not seeing the results. Seth Godin wrote an amazing book called “The Dip” — the plateau that separates the average from the best in the world. Knowing what to do when you hit the dip is so important. If you have hit the dip and you can honestly say that going forward is the best decision, then you continue to move boldly ahead until you reach the other side. It might feel like the hardest you have ever worked, but once you make it, the results will be tremendous.
4. Give Yourself the Gift of Support
Support and (accountability) is everything! Sometimes, we can’t see our own blind spots and this often slows us way down, frustrates us, and we end up working even harder. When you are doing things in your life and business that you have never done before, having support makes all the difference in the world!
Working with a coach will not only support you and give you accountability, it will push you out of your comfort zone. All my private clients are so amazed that prior to investing in coaching with me, they thought they either didn’t really need a coach – or felt guilty about choosing to invest in coaching. Now, after being coached they are committed to always having this type of support in their life. Why? Because, left to our own devices we don’t do what we should or could. When we work with a coach, we make more progress and do it more rapidly. I personally know this – not just from coaching hundreds of women – but from investing in myself and having MY OWN private coach.
Sometimes it can be difficult to connect with what you most desire to bring into your life for the New Year, and this can become frustrating. Give yourself permission to release the struggle of not knowing or feeling unclear about your goals and shift your focus inward. Long lasting change starts on the inside. When you shift your focus and go within, your goals will naturally unfold and they will be aligned with your most authentic self.
Here is what I suggest you do NOW:
Go inward now and answer these two powerful and empowering questions:
1. What are your strengths? Make a list of them. How can you better utilize and apply your strengths to create a happier, more joyful and successful 2012?
For example: I was speaking with a client who is super creative, but didn’t necessarily access her creativity they way she had hoped in 2011. Her goals really weren’t defined. By answering these questions, her creativity goal became crystal clear for this year. She intends to collaborate with a group of creative people who together will utilize their creativity to deliver an award-wining product for people around the globe to enjoy.
2. What personal qualities would you like to strengthen in 2012?
Here are some examples of personal qualities to strengthen:
Be more bold, courageous and fearless – commit to not letting fear hold you back.
Claim your truth and it. Take more action to achieve true financial independence.
Be adventurous and have more fun – on a daily basis.
Let go! Let go of worry, self doubt, toxic people and food, any negative thought that makes you feel less than good, being nervous or fearful about what others think of you and most of all let go of anything that is standing in your way of living the life you desire!
Be free from hesitation and unnecessary stressors.
Be proactive rather than reactive.
Be grateful every day.
Be active in telling yourself what you really want and taking the action to get it.
Be conscious about setting boundaries with yourself and others – say NO to the things that deplete you and say YES more often to the things that energize you.
Be consistent, confident and focused on your top three priorities -everyday- always. Let nothing, no one or any negative thought get in your way!!! (I give this advice to my daughter everyday when she leaves for school!
As you begin to get clear on how you would like to strengthen yourself from the inside, it’s as if you are brightening your internal light. As your light shines brighter, you’ll find that you are attracting opportunities and resources that support your desires.
Once you have answered the two questions above and have chosen the qualities you would like to strengthen follow this three step process:
Step 1: Write a Goal Card with a positive affirmation to go along with each goal (keep it in the present tense).
Step 2: Take your Goal Cards and hang them up where you will see them. In your office, bathroom, car etc.
Step 3: Choose three actions you can take this week to begin to utilize or strengthen yourself.
Here is example of this three step process:
Goal: Become financially independent.
Affirmation: I feel amazing being financially responsible and have more money as a result.
1. Look at your numbers and know them like the back of your hand – cost of living, income coming in and expenses going out.
2. Open any unopened bills. Money does not like to be ignored.
3. Balance your bank account and look at your bank balance everyday.
4. Arrange online banking and put systems in place to achieve financial freedom.
5. Where is there money on the table right now for you to pick up? In other words, where is there hidden money in your life or what action could you take to bring more money into your life?
6. Start a FFA – Financial Freedom Account
As you consider the quality you would like to strengthen, remember that the quickest way to create a better life is to focus on taking action. Release yourself from focusing on what you haven’t done or need to do. As you do this you will find that your confidence increases and you will trust your intuition more and achieving your goals will feel effortless.