Why Are You Settling?

I used to settle a lot. There were years when I’d accept so much less than I wanted because I just thought that’s the way life was. At other times, I didn’t even know exactly what it was I wanted; I just knew that whatever it was, it was missing. I knew I had a longing, I just didn’t know I had a choice.

I wasn’t empowered to make the decisions that would move me toward living my authentic life. I disconnected myself from my inner truth because what I found there scared me. At the time, it seemed easier to hide out in the relationship I was unsatisfied with and try to convince myself that my career was just fine. And, I suffered some major consequences. When you settle for less than you want and deserve, you are acting from a place of fear. What I learned from my experience is that in all things, we must act from a place of love.

When you choose to be driven by love, you will begin to believe that life can be exactly how you want it to be. When you choose to become conscious of your truth, you will realize that the power of choice is available to you.

Ask yourself, “Why are you settling?”

We influence our life’s experience through the choices we make. And I’m talking, all of the choices we make. If you think about it, there is no such thing as a small choice. Every decision we make — choosing to eat or not eat, to say or not say, to listen to your inner voice or not listen — has a consequence. Whether it’s short or long term, with good or less than desirable results, each choice has an effect. Our power and influence over our lives comes from our ability to make choices. When we settle, we lose sight of that power – knowing somewhere in our heart that our inner truth has been compromised.

Examples of settling for less:

• I guess this is as good as it gets.
• It doesn’t really matter to me if I get married or have children.
• As long as I have 6-8 clients, that’s better than nothing.
• I can do this by myself. I don’t need any support.
• It’s better to have these friends than no friends.
• I can live on $2000 a month, so that’ll be good enough.
• At least I have a job, even if it’s one I hate.
• I’ll never lose these last 20 pounds, so why even try?

Ignoring your inner truth inevitably leads to self-sabotaging behavior – overeating, procrastination, a lack of personal responsibility – and ultimately, pain. Feelings of anger, boredom, frustration, loneliness and hopelessness take over and lead to chaos in our lives. The only reason we deny ourselves our inner truth is because our conscious self is too frightened to take bold steps, so we make less than authentic choices.

Take a look at where you are settling for less. Is it in your career, your relationship, your well-being? Make a list of those areas and describe how you’re settling.

Examples:

• I don’t like the way my hair stylist does my hair, but I keep going back.
• I buy and eat cheap, un-nutritious food.
• I continue to work with clients who submit late payments.

Now, make a list of the consequences you have endured as the result of settling.

Examples:

• I never feel cute and I resent paying for a haircut I don’t like.
• My food isn’t providing the nutrients that my body needs for proper health.
• I can’t pay my bills on time.

Ask yourself again. Why are you settling? Usually, we settle out of fear. We fear that we won’t have enough, that we’re taking too big of a risk, or we’re better off staying put rather than taking a chance. Take a good look at the underlying fear that leads to you settling for less. Is that fear rational? Why are you allowing it to hold you back?

Honor Your Power of Choice

Every choice you make has the power to shift your life direction. Intuitively you know that you desire more. Choose to end the chaos created by settling for less and begin to get clear about what you authentically want in your life. Change can be very uncomfortable; it’s time to get comfortable with it. Now, if you’re ready to commit to continuous growth and expansion, pay attention to what I just told you. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Never once have I heard any woman regret making the decision to no longer settle in her life. In fact, the reaction is always the opposite. “Look at the new abundant path I’m on! I can’t believe I settled for so long!” Getting comfortable being uncomfortable will lead you to take action and create the life you want and deserve. Empower your inner truth and honor your power of choice.

Stop settling for less.